Confessions Of A Rebellious Flosser

Yo, Readers!!!

I’d like to share a little story that might seem to have nothing to do with brushing and flossing my teeth at night, but stick with me and I think PAPA will radically bless your heart!

In KING YESHUA’S Great Love!

Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
\o/ 🙂
_______

I no longer have sexualized same-sex attractions — thank You, PAPA!!
😃😃😃😘😘😘

Yet…they did not go away by attempting to make-them-go-away — does that make sense?

Actually, I did initially pursue “making them go away,” but fortunately, PAPA had introduced me to Pamela Vest Valentine, a wise, Spirit-filled therapist who let me know that to do so, would just be a Band-Aid. She was a “client-centered” therapist, so she was willing to go that route if that’s what I really wanted, but she also told me that it would not deal with what actually needed to be dealt with — the roots.

The real problems, she said were **not** my homosexual feelings. Rather, she said that my problem was the same problem everyone has:

1. My (mis)perceptions of GOD,
2. My (mis)perceptions of myself, and
3. My (mis)perceptions of GOD and me together.

I immediately asked (it was closer to a demanding growl), “What am I supposed to do with all these other people around me??!!!”

Her eyes were compassionate, while her tone was firmly serious when she replied, “Nothing. You are to do absolutely nothing with other people until you have dealt with the first three areas — enough. And only GOD knows when enough-is-enough.”

She gently continued, “Melanee, you make people your gods…”

OUCH!!!!!!!

(Think, a hard punch to my abdomen, knocking the air out of me — maybe a hard jab to the face, too! And believe me when I say, I wanted to verbally punch her lights out!!)
💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪

What PAPA Told me that day through my therapist was this:

If I keep The-Main-Thing-The-Main-Thing…

— My focus being on KING YESHUA and no one else, following Him wherever He leads me; obeying Him (eventually!) in everything He calls me to do; resting IN Him; crying on His Shoulder; letting Him Comfort my hurting, fearful heart; running to Him when others have hurt my feelings; repenting when I disobey Him; accepting His Forgiveness (particularly in visualizing His Cleansing, Healing and Strengthening, Maturing of ALL of me — spirit, soul, body); and much, much more —

…then my ENTIRE life changes!!

HalleluYAH!!!!!!!
WOOHOO!!!!!!!
😃😃😃❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘

A bonus was that my sexualized same-sex attractions dissipated and now…I only have GOD-Given same-sex attractions and opposite-sex attractions like PAPA originally designed each person to have!!!

You might be thinking, “When is she ever going to talk about the hot topic of brushing and flossing?!”

I’m getting there!
😃😃

The “stuff” I battle today is just as sinful. And any one of them can become destructive strongholds, just like the homosexuality, pornography, and masturbation used to be.

If you’re thinking, “Wow! What could be just as ‘bad’ as sexual sin?” then you’re caught in the same trap that I sometimes get caught in, as well.

Sin — all sin — is destructive, because I’m disconnecting myself from being intimately connected to PAPA.

Okay, I won’t keep you in suspense anymore!
😜😜😜

I currently struggle against obeying PAPA in four (out of five) areas He’s Told me to do.

He’s Called me to:
Speak and Write (that’s actually two things together as one), and He’s Told me to Exercise, Eat, Brush my teeth, and Floss my teeth, EVERY day.

Every. Single. Day.
No. Matter. How. Tired. I. Am!!!

And other than eating, most days I fail MISERABLY in the other four categories. Yes, I said most days.

(FYI — eating actually means eating healthy and taking my meds and supplements.)

Well…since I celebrate the Sabbath from Friday evening to Saturday evening, I get a little break, because I only need to eat, brush, and floss during that timeframe!
😃😃😃😜😜😜

There ya go! Those are the things that are currently embarrassing me when I’m not obedient. I “tell on myself” to my Sponsor and other accountability folks on whether I’m obeying PAPA or not. And if it starts getting REALLY out of hand, I call my therapist!
😃😃😃😃☎️☎️📞📞

In other words, I still have DAILY battles that I can get focused on, ashamed about, worried about, and ask questions like, “Will this EVER change?” or “Will I EVER want to obey DADDY every night about brushing and flossing my teeth???!!!” or “Will I EVER really write what PAPA Wants me to write?” or “Am I EVER going to exercise regularly regardless of the pain?”

You get the picture — and I am not exaggerating!

I really feel those things, think those things, and experience those things.

I can even think SO insanely that I start believing that my value is determined by whether or not I’m obeying PAPA…oh, my…

Another way to phrase that would be a slight variation on what my therapist said back in 1995. Instead of making other people my gods, I’m making my struggles my gods, my obedience my gods, and I can even make my disobedience my gods! Yikes!!!

Something one of my long-distance mentors, Bob Hamp, says goes something like this, “Whenever I make anything other than PAPA my GOD, then I’m plugging into the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, rather than The Tree of Life — KING YESHUA Himself!”

Talk about knowledge becoming a set-up for misery — yikes!!

So, Precious Readers, I share all this to hopefully communicate to you the absolute importance of you “plugging into” PAPA, seeking and pursuing His KINGdom and His Righteousness, rather than change.

I hope you hear me loud-and-clear — I’m *not* accusing you of pursuing change — some of you I’ve never even personally met! I’m just sharing with you how easy it is to get sidetracked off of The Main Thing.

And guess what?! I just fulfilled my writing requirement for the day, too! LOL!!! WOOHOO!!!
😃😃😃✏️✏️✏️👍👍👍

Thanks for letting me share!

And REMEMBER: You’re worth it, because PAPA says so!
😃😃😃❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘
👍👍👍👍👣👣👣👣

Spiritual Truth 2x4s

Howdy, Readers!

I pray that PAPA Radically Blesses each and everyone of you and your families with an abundance of life transforming Spiritual Truth 2x4s! All in love, of course! 😃😃❤️❤️

And here’s today’s post about that kind of love! Shalom!😊 +++

It was around ’94 or ’95 when I was finally ready to ask my Christian therapist the ‘bigger-than-an-elephant-all-consuming-litmus-test-question’:

“So, Pam, do you believe that homosexuality is a sin?”

She stared intently at me and responded with a question of her own, “Melanee, haven’t you been on ‘both sides of the camp’?”

I knew what she meant, but it was kind of weird hearing it said out loud like that. I nodded ‘yes’ to her question and shrugged my shoulders in an indifferent, ‘so what?’ gesture.

She continued smoothly, “So… what could I possibly say that would be any different than what you’ve already heard from both sides regarding homosexuality?”

I silently shook my head to say ‘nothing.’ That’s when her next question punched me in the stomach, “Melanee, this is between you and GOD. You’re going to have to wrestle this one out with Him and His Word — and no one else.”

Externally I was stunned speechless, but internally I was outraged! Faster than a speeding bullet my thoughts raced, “EVERYONE has an opinion on the topic of sexuality – especially homosexuality!!! Who was she to not tell me her opinion?!!”

I was ready to explode, but she wouldn’t budge.

She refused my repeated offers to share her opinion and finally silenced me with a ‘Spiritual Truth 2×4’ upside my head, “Melanee, neither I nor anyone else can answer this question to your satisfaction. Only GOD can. And it’s only His Opinion that matters, anyway.”

Silence…

That was the day I learned how life-transforming Spiritual Truth 2x4s could be when wielded with strategic accuracy between the eyes! 😃😃 All because someone loved, honored, and respected me enough to **not** give me their opinion, but instead, pointed me to The One Who Loves me — Perfectly, Unashamedly, and with a Purity beyond my imagination!

HalleluYAH!!!!!!!

Thank You, PAPA, for YOU (and Your Spiritual Truth 2x4s!), and for Pamela Vest Valentine — and — for making her a double doctor!!
😃😃😃❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘

Thanks for letting me share!

In KING YESHUA’S Great Love!

Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
\o/  🙂

 

Paragraph Word Of My Testimony!!! (19 Year Anniversary!!)

I grew up in a family where I was sexually, physically, emotionally abused and neglected for over 13 years. I not only hated the 3 men and 1 woman who sexually used me, but I also hated myself – especially my body, because it betrayed me by responding to the sexual stimulations.

There were many unhealthy ways I attempted to deal with the trauma and pain from the sexual abuse, but they were the only coping mechanisms I knew. At a very young age, I was introduced to pornographic magazines, and later found an X-rated novel in the house – what I refer to as “written” pornography. I don’t remember when I first masturbated, but by the time I was 13 years old, I was hooked on masturbation – and devastated by the shame I felt afterwards.

Because of the abuse and neglect, it’s understandable that I wanted to be rescued out of my situation. The way I experienced wanting to be rescued was through emotionally intense romantic feelings for girls. When puberty hit, I also had strong sexual feelings for girls and women. By age 17, I “decided” that I was a lesbian. I simultaneously decided that The Bible was a bunch of lies and that GOD didn’t exist.

That, by the way, is the coping mechanism called DENIAL.

The mechanism I used from the earliest sexual abuse was dissociation. It was one of the reasons I survived hundreds of sexual violations. Dissociation is a big word for what The Bible describes as “brokenhearted” in Isaiah 61:1 and KING YESHUA quotes in Luke:

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed.” — Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

A clearer visual of brokenhearted is a shattered heart, much like glass shattering to pieces when it hits the ground. Even though I didn’t know how deeply broken and wounded I was, PAPA knew; so He allowed me to experience the natural consequences of living in rebellion to Him, until I finally got sick-and-tired of being sick-and-tired.

The prayer I prayed was this: “GOD, I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be. I don’t know if that means I’ll be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or asexual, but I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be.”

HOLY SPIRIT took that prayer and RAN WITH IT!

On 1 SEP 2014, it will be 19 years since fully surrendering to PAPA’S Authority over every area of my life – emotionally, mentally, relationally, and sexually. Physical health and financial recovery began years later and though I’m still physically ill with Lyme, Babesia, and Bartonella, KING YESHUA is still on His Throne and I’m still His Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Daughter! That’s all that matters! OORAH! 🙂

On 23 DEC 2014, it will be 29 years since I surrendered my heart and life to JESUS! I was born-again that MON morning around 1000 and I’ve NEVER received a greater or more priceless gift! HalleluYAH!!! 🙂

KING YESHUA has used Himself, His Written Word, His People (two Christian therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), CHRIST-Centered Family Reconstruction, Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person), and HIS Creation to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.

Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. He Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades. I now FEEL emotions like KING YESHUA Created me to feel and because of His Faithfulness, I know how to manage my emotions, too!

Since PAPA has Taught me what to do when I’m anxious, I no longer use pornography, masturbation, or sexual fantasies. Before recovery, I only had WALLS and no boundaries. I was walled-off from PAPA, myself, and others. Not any more! KING JESUS and I together tore down the isolating walls (HalleluYAH!!!), and He Taught me what healthy boundaries are and how to enforce them in loving, respectful ways. (Actually, I’m still learning!!) I’m also learning how to **not** talk out of fear or be silent out of fear.

The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because He Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to His Authority in every area of my life. He still asks me the same thing He asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

Bulleted Word Of My Testimony! (19 Year Anniversary!!)

• I survived over 13 years of childhood sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect.

• I dissociated in order to survive the abuse and was consumed with hatred and anger towards GOD and men, as well as self-hatred for over 30 years.

• I experienced homosexual feelings for over 30 years and lived as a lesbian for over 15 years (7 of those years as a Christian).

• I used pornography, masturbation, and sexual fantasies as coping mechanisms for many years.

• That all began to change when I fully surrendered my authority to GOD’S Authority on 1 SEP 1995.

• KING YESHUA has used Himself, His Written Word, two Christian therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), CHRIST-Centered Family Reconstruction, Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, and HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person, to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.

• Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. He Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades.

• The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because He Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to His Authority in every area of my life. He still asks me the same thing He asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

The Word Of My Testimony (Bulleted & 5-Minute Version)

Hello there, Readers!

Below are two versions of what Revelation 12:11 calls “the word of my testimony.” The first is a bulleted list and the second is a 5-minute testimony (approximately), if read out loud. I ask PAPA to do whatever it takes to soften your heart (and my heart!) towards Him, His Word, and His Will in every area of your life (and my life!) — no matter what it costs!

PAPA’S Blessings on you all!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
+
\o/
—————————

BULLETED VERSION:

• I survived over 13 years of childhood sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect.
• I dissociated in order to survive the abuse and was consumed with hatred and anger towards GOD and men, as well as self-hatred for over 30 years.
• I experienced homosexual feelings for over 30 years and lived as a lesbian for over 15 years (7 of those years as a Christian).
• I used pornography, masturbation, and sexual fantasies as coping mechanisms for many years.
• That all began to change when I fully surrendered my authority to GOD’S Authority on 1 SEP 1995.
• KING YESHUA has used Himself, His Written Word, two Christian therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), CHRIST-Centered Family Reconstruction, Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, and HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person, to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.
• Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. He Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades.
• The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because He Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to His Authority in every area of my life. He still asks me the same thing He asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

PARAGRAPH VERSION:
I grew up in a family where I was sexually, physically, emotionally abused and neglected for over 13 years. I not only hated the 3 men and 1 woman who sexually used me, but I also hated myself – especially my body, because it betrayed me by responding to the sexual stimulations.

There were many unhealthy ways I attempted to deal with the trauma and pain from the sexual abuse, but they were the only coping mechanisms I knew. At a very young age, I was introduced to pornographic magazines, and later found an X-rated novel in the house – what I refer to as “written” pornography. I don’t remember when I first masturbated, but by the time I was 13 years old, I was hooked on masturbation – and devastated by the shame I felt afterwards.

Because of the abuse and neglect, it’s understandable that I wanted to be rescued out of my situation. The way I experienced wanting to be rescued was through emotionally intense romantic feelings for girls. When puberty hit, I also had strong sexual feelings for girls and women. By age 17, I “decided” that I was a lesbian. I simultaneously decided that The Bible was a bunch of lies and that GOD didn’t exist.

That, by the way, is the coping mechanism called DENIAL.

The mechanism I used from the earliest sexual abuse was dissociation. It was one of the reasons I survived hundreds of sexual violations. Dissociation is a big word for what The Bible describes as “brokenhearted” in Isaiah 61:1 and KING YESHUA quotes in Luke:

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed.”
— Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

A clearer visual of brokenhearted is a shattered heart, much like glass shattering to pieces when it hits the ground. Even though I didn’t know how deeply broken and wounded I was, PAPA knew; so He allowed me to experience the natural consequences of living in rebellion to Him, until I finally got sick-and-tired of being sick-and-tired.

The prayer I prayed was this: “GOD, I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be. I don’t know if that means I’ll be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or asexual, but I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be.”

HOLY SPIRIT took that prayer and RAN WITH IT!

On 1 SEP 2014, it will be 19 years since fully surrendering to PAPA’S Authority over every area of my life – emotionally, mentally, relationally, and sexually. Physical health and financial recovery began years later and though I’m still physically ill with Lyme, Babesia, and Bartonella, KING YESHUA is still on His Throne and I’m still His Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Daughter! That’s all that matters! OORAH! 🙂

On 23 DEC 2014, it will be 29 years since I surrendered my heart and life to JESUS! I was born-again that MON morning around 1000 and I’ve NEVER received a greater or more priceless gift! HalleluYAH!!! 🙂

KING YESHUA has used Himself, His Written Word, His People (two Christian therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), CHRIST-Centered Family Reconstruction, Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person), and HIS Creation to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.

Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. He Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades. I now FEEL emotions like KING YESHUA Created me to feel and because of His Faithfulness, I know how to manage my emotions, too!

Since PAPA has Taught me what to do when I’m anxious, I no longer use pornography, masturbation, or sexual fantasies. Before recovery, I only had WALLS and no boundaries. I was walled-off from PAPA, myself, and others. Not any more! KING JESUS and I together tore down the isolating walls (HalleluYAH!!!), and He Taught me what healthy boundaries are and how to enforce them in loving, respectful ways. (Actually, I’m still learning!!) I’m also learning how to **not** talk out of fear or be silent out of fear.

The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because He Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to His Authority in every area of my life. He still asks me the same thing He asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

+
\o/

The Gift of Biblical Repentance

Dear Readers,

I’ve wondered for a LONG time how to Biblically describe what was going on years ago when I was promoting my old way of living (i.e., being a Christian, but living in relational and sexual sin AND saying that my behaviors/thoughts were **not** sin AND teaching others to do the same).

I believe PAPA has given me a visual. Here it is. I pray you are enCOURAGED to seek HIM in every area of your life — no matter the costs!

And — thank You, PAPA, for never giving up on me!!!
——-

Okay, so I was living in relational and sexual sin, which means, according to The Scriptures, I was living like a sinner, right?

Yet, in The Scriptures, the sinners (in general), flocked to KING JESUS, didn’t they? And then those sinners repented, right? And were thankful to PAPA and followed their Saviour, right?

Well, those three sentences are a description (albeit, short), of what KING YESHUA preached when He first started His public ministry (see Mark 1:14-17):

1. The time is fulfilled. The Kingdom of GOD is at hand.
(Now is the time. Here I Am — I’m standing right here in front of you);

2. Repent.
(Turn away from your sin — turn away from your finite way of thinking and living);

3. Believe in The Gospel.
(I Am The Gospel — I Am The Good News — Believe Me. Believe Who I say I Am; Believe who I say you are; Believe who I say we are together);

4. Follow Me.
(Go where I go and do what I do and obey My Command to love as I Love. Do not stray away, but when you do, refer back to points 1-3);

5. I will make you become Fishers of Men.
(I will empower you to live in The Strength of My Great Love. I will empower you to love other people as I Love them: in The Fullness of My Strong Holiness, Tender Mercy, and Powerfully Intimate Grace).

Continuing with the visual…

Most of the Pharisees (who are described during KING YESHUA’S day), viewed themselves as being “well” — not needing a doctor, much less a Saviour. They thought this way, because their perception was they were doing just fine by adhering to their standards of holiness, rather than KING YESHUA’S Standards of Holiness.

That is totally contrary to the repentant sinners’ perceptions — they knew they were sick and in need of a doctor and especially a Saviour! They knew they desperately needed help, so they surrendered to The One Who could actually Help them!

KING YESHUA referred to this scenario in Matthew 9:12-13 (NKJV) when He said,

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

So, here’s what I finally saw on THU 23 JAN 2013:

From the spring of 1989 through the fall of 1995, I was living as an UNrepentant homosexual Christian. I called my lesbian way of living “good and blessed by GOD,” and I strongly advocated for others to do the same.

I was living like a Pharisee (i.e., I believed that I was **not** “sick,” even though KING JESUS said I was sinning). I literally told GOD that I wasn’t sinning, so I didn’t need to repent.

Let me say that again — I told GOD, “I don’t need to repent.”

Oh, my . . .

Hmmm…from a physical standpoint, that can be simply described as a terribly sick woman who continually refuses to acknowledge her illness — even when the medical specialist stands right in front of her and tells her the truth about her condition, she rejects him. To make matters worse, she convinces other people to follow her example of rejecting truth about sickness which leads to a downward spiral of unhealthy existence (rather than life and life more abundantly — John 10:10).

From a spiritual viewpoint, I was someone who repeatedly refused to bow down to The One Who Created me — AND — I encouraged others to rebel with me by rejecting parts of GOD’S Word. AND — I called it “good and blessed by GOD.” The Scriptures have numerous warnings about doing such things. This verse from Isaiah 5:20 (NKJV) is particularly strong, “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”

To knowingly reject GOD and His Word regarding KING YESHUA will ultimately lead to eternal death and separation from The Creator — that is an absolute.

Yet, if you are someone who claims to be a Christian and is living as I once was — and calling it good — please hear my heart. I’m asking you to do a different kind of Woe. I’m asking you to say, “Whoa!” as in, “stop-in-your-tracks” kind of whoa.

Also, please remember this Truth: KING JESUS Loves you! And He Loves you SO much that He doesn’t want you to stay that way — living in sin. And calling sin good. And teaching others to do the same.

Here’s The Truth: The most beautiful angel was thrown out of Heaven for doing something similar. And he took one-third of the angels with him. That’s not said as a scare tactic. That is said as a sobering reminder that PAPA Is Holy.

Is that you, today? Are you afraid to bow down to The One Who Created you? If that is you, please hear this: HE STILL LOVES YOU! Yes, He does!

The question is: Do you want to do something different? Or — are you at least willing to do something different?

If, yes, then open your Bible to Mark 1:14-17, and read aloud what KING YESHUA’S Word says.

Then follow what He says in those four verses (they’re also written above) and TELL A FRIEND (or two or three) who are walking the road of repentance, as well!

Then, continue living in The Light that the gift of Biblical repentance is and PAPA will give you not only a new heart and a new way of living, He will also give you a new job description: Fisher of Men!

PAPA’S Blessing on all of you Precious Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
\/ 🙂

DEC 1985 – SEP 1995 (the short version)

Dear Readers,

Below is a small portion of KING YESHUA’S Story in my life. It’s short, but it’s about The One Who IS GOOD!!! 🙂

_________________________

On MON 23 DEC 1985 around 1000 (10:00 am) I became a born-again Christian. My life was NEW!!! And CLEAN!!! And AWESOME!!! Woohoo!!! 🙂

What I didn’t know was, that in order for my emotional, romantic, sexual feelings to be transformed, I would need to practice being rigorously honest with GOD, myself, and others I trusted. My perception at that time was: If I just give my homosexual feelings to GOD, then He would change them into romantic and sexual feelings for men. Kinda like, “Poof!”

That didn’t work.

In FEB 1988, I started a romantic and sexual relationship with another woman who was struggling against homosexuality. Neither of us were very strong (obviously), and in October of that year I experienced my first suicidal feelings.

In the spring of 1989, I returned to living as a homosexual. Why? Because I could not escape my romantic and sexual feelings for other women — I couldn’t make them go away. And since they hadn’t changed (regardless of how many times I begged GOD to take them away), I decided that He must not want to change them, either. I told JESUS that I could no longer deny He was GOD — but I also told Him that I could no longer deny I was a lesbian.

So, off I went to live my new life as a lesbian Christian in Gainesville, FL. Sure, I had questions like, “Are homosexual thoughts and activity sin?” But mainly I was determined to not feel ashamed of my homosexual feelings. And, I really DID want others to know JESUS and give their life to Him. Really.

In OCT 1990, I and the woman I thought would be my forever life-partner, had a ceremony at the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) in Gainesville. Both of our gay-identified brothers were present and signed the document as our witnesses.

On 11 NOV 1991, my brother passed away due to AIDS. In 1992, my life-partner and I moved to Tallahassee and in the fall of 1993, we started the MCC in the capital city of FL. Everything seemed great. I was kind of like the “temporary pastor” of the church — not preaching, but the out-front leader who taught that GOD blessed committed, monogamous homosexuality.

There was a big problem I kept running into, though — I didn’t know how to talk to folks about their sin problems. You see, since I was teaching that homosexuality was *not* sin, then how could I claim that GOD’S Word called their behaviors sinful? How could I say to them that there was hope for them to repent of  their sins?

I could not.

Not lying. Not stealing. Not gossiping. Not adultery. Not fornication. Not even pedophilia. “Who was I to judge?” That’s what I kept hearing in my head. So, suffice it to say, I didn’t have much “power” in my life and I felt hopeless to do anything about it.

Even in the midst of my hopeless powerlessness, though, I met some phenomenal folks through MCC, but they were not the answer to my sin problem. My rebellion could not be “fixed” by any human. Well, not any natural human, anyway. 😉

It took only a few years before I couldn’t take the depression any longer. (For those of you who haven’t experienced it, it is extremely tormenting to say there is freedom in CHRIST to change, while simultaneously refusing to surrender to Him and His Power in every area of one’s own life. That’s called “making two choices.” I blogged about that earlier.)

Back to the story . . .

I didn’t want to live with this torment any more, but I didn’t know how I could kill myself.

But, GOD . . .

Only because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, demonstrated through His Word and a few key folks, did my life begin to have hope. TRUE Hope. Hope for freedom from the tormenting lies I believed about both GOD and myself.

Mainly, though, my prayer was a simple, desperate cry to JESUS — “GOD! I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be!”

So, on 1 SEP 1995, I started “recovery” regarding feelings — all feelings. The first thing my therapist did was send me to PAPA’S Word to find out what He Says about Himself, what He Says about me, and what He Says about me and Him — together.

This time, though, I wasn’t doing it all alone. This time I had both spiritual and physical support through some of KING YESHUA’S people who had a clue how to love me with 100% Strength and 100% Mercy — His Great Love! HalleluYAH! 🙂 Thank You, KING YESHUA!!! 🙂

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That, Precious Readers, is the SHORT version of life for me from 23 DEC 1985 – 1 SEP 1995!

Thanks for reading and PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
\/ 🙂

Celebrating 18 Years In Recovery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

Dear Readers,

I’m CELEBRATING the fact that 18 years ago (1 SEP 1995), is when trusting PAPA and obeying His Word was finally beginning to be enough for me — no matter what it cost me. HalleluYAH!!! 🙂

In a nutshell, this is what happened:

KING YESHUA gave me such a desperation for Him and Him Alone, that I was finally willing to cling to His Strength (rather than my own), and to face Him as He Truly Is — and myself as I truly was.

This made it possible for me to begin surrendering my homosexual behaviors, feelings, and identity to His Lordship. He also gave me His Tenacity to surrender my gender-identity confusion, self-hatred, secrets, and self-protective walls that I’d had for decades. He provided me with not only Himself and His Word, but also safe, trustworthy people to walk alongside me as I dealt with the damaging effects of over 13 years of childhood sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect.

Today, I’m also celebrating what He’s CURRENTLY doing in my life (a.k.a., “hot-off-the-press!”). 😉

PAPA hasn’t ever wanted me to “talk-out-of-fear” (or be “silent-out-of-fear”). Yet, fear has been a life-long destructive habit in my life, but I didn’t truly see it for the harmful problem it was until FEB 2012. He’s changed me a lot regarding fear-based-talking and I still have a LONG ways to go, but that’s okay because He only wants me to live ODAT! (One Day at a Time!) 🙂

I’m also working on obeying Him by writing on a regular basis (ta-daa!) :-), along with basic physical self-care like DAILY healthy nutrition, DAILY strength-training and stretching, DAILY teeth-brushing and flossing. (Yes, I’ve been having some trouble with those DAILY healthy habits!) 😉

And last, but not least, I’m taking “baby-steps” in fully surrendering all of my femininity to Him so He can continue maturing me into the Beautifully Captivating Princess Daughter He Created me to be! YAHOO!!! 🙂

That is the “nutshell” version. I pray what I’ve shared enCOURAGES you to surrender whatever you’re holding onto — whatever it is that is hindering you from fully responding to PAPA’S Great Love for you when He says, “Come to Me, Child, and I will give you My Rest.”

Keep on taking baby-steps towards KING YESHUA, dear Readers! You are worth it! PAPA says so! 🙂

In HIS Great Love!

Melanee Lisa!

One of KING YESHUA’S Beautiful Warrior Princess Daughters!
OORAH!!!  \/  🙂
ALL For PAPA’S Glory!!! 🙂

Changing Language

Dear PAPA,

I desperately need Your Help to write what You placed on my heart over five years ago & have only recently begun to share with others. Please. Help. And ALL TO YOUR GLORY!!!

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(For the record, please know that the post below is a GREAT SIMPLIFICATION of the complexity of how a person learns to perceive himself or herself as a boy or a girl. This is, after all, only a short blog on suggesting the change of language. Thanks for reading!)

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Dear Readers,

If you live in the United States like I do, then you’ve probably heard that the term Same-Sex Attraction (SSA) is the same thing as homosexual feelings.

I disagree. Wholeheartedly.

But, wait, Melanee! You say you’re spiritually reborn as a Daughter of KING YESHUA and that His Word is infallible—how can you say you disagree? I’m so glad you asked!

Let me start with something seemingly unrelated . . .

I’ve observed that many people prefer shorter ways to say something. I do, too. For example, I would prefer to say, “Small Group Leader” rather than “Small Group Facilitator” anytime I can. Why? It’s three syllables shorter. I’m serious! It’s meaning is often the same, but the number of syllables are different.

That’s one of the reasons why for years I was happy with shortening my name to “Mel.” It was fewer syllables for others to say and fewer letters for me to write. What a great deal!

Until I entered recovery on 1 SEP 1995.

That’s when I began to ask PAPA to show me everything in my life that was NOT in alignment with Him—with His Word. And He has been EXTREMELY Faithful! (He’s like that, ya know!) My name was just one of them.

Since starting recovery, He has shown me MANY ways in which my thoughts, words, beliefs, attitudes, and actions were out of alignment with Him—were incorrect. Some of my habits were easy to let go. Some were not. Some are still kicking my butt when I’m tired or hurting. (True!)

But the one thing that PAPA is really drawing my attention to is the INCORRECT use of the term SSA (same-sex attraction)—as if SSA is the same thing as homosexual feelings.

They are NOT. Homosexual thoughts and behavior are sin. Same-sex attractions are not.

Yes, you read correctly. SSA is not sin.

SEXUALIZED SSA fantasies and actions ARE sin (along with many other sexual sins). But the normal (yes, normal), same-sex attractions that GOD created ALL humans with—they are NOT sin.

The desires/attractions to deeply connect to and identify with our same-sex parent, same-sex authority figures, and later, our same-sex peers are gifts from PAPA that need to be properly nurtured and protected so we can grow into maturity.

Will you read that sentence, again—and slower this time?

In other words, if a person is trying to “get rid of” their GOD-given same-sex attractions, it’s not going to happen. It can’t. GOD made each and every one of us with the need to be intimately connected with others of our same-sex in accordance to His Design as stated in His Word. And He’s NOT going to make “it” go away.

If, though, a person’s GOD-given SSA has become sexualized and/or romanticized and/or emotionally dependent (for whatever reasons, and there are many), then something is NOT in alignment with how PAPA Created men/boys and women/girls to perceive themselves and others who are of the same sex. (FYI: In this post, I’m not going to discuss heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, transsexuality, asexuality, or gender-identity confusion—I’m only discussing the inappropriate language use of SSA.)

Here’s my reason for writing about language:

Since KING YESHUA made it abundantly clear that it is a TERRIBLE thing to place (or be) a stumbling block to others—especially regarding children—then I must write and ask:

Will each of you Dear Readers consider adding a few more syllables to your language?

If you said, “Yes!” then please consider adding these four syllables—sexualized SSA. Or romanticized SSA. Or emotionally dependent SSA. (Okay, I know—that last one is eight syllables, but you get the point . . .)

And will you also consider educating others about the difference? Otherwise, there are young people (and some older folks, too) who will continue to attempt to “get rid of” their GOD-given SSA. And if they don’t learn that they can’t get rid of “it,” then they will, like many others before them, become frustrated, depressed, and possibly suicidal when “it” doesn’t go away.

If what I’ve asked seems ridiculous or unimportant, then please take a moment to read my rationale:

PAPA Created me with:

– SSA (not sexualized SSA — just plain SSA),

– the desire to connect with other girls/women (rather than disconnect from them), and

– the desire to notice how other girls/women lived, looked, behaved, etc., so I could emulate them (rather than reject my own gender).

Until I actually grasped those Truths, I literally worked hard to “get rid of” those desires. And the harder I worked to make “it” go away, the greater my SSA became sexualized. The more my SSA became sexualized, the more I thought (and eventually believed) that I was homosexual.

Eventually, I succumbed to the lie that I was a lesbian. Even after I became a Christian. And I’m just one of thousands of people who have believed the same lie.

I hope that helps to clarify why this is such an important topic to take seriously. And to take action.

In short—SSA is NORMAL (i.e., is supposed to occur). And, is a GOD-given relational gift between members of the same sex (boys amongst boys as brothers and girls amongst girls as sisters).

So—are you with me? Are you ready to start re-educating yourself and others in this important area of language that is in alignment with PAPA and His Word?

I sure hope so! Because all of us are Created in His Image—and using a few more syllables will be worth producing good, healthy fruit in your own life and in others’ lives, as well!

___________________________________________

If you need more examples of the importance of how language can be used to help shape a person’s perception of him/herself, here are a few:

Many boys are insultingly called “sissy” or “girl” or “faggot,” when, according to PAPA’S Word, the boy is a boy who has been gifted artistically. Or, for short, he’s an artistic boy.

The good news is that when a boy is called a boy in a positive manner, is affirmed as a boy Created in GOD’S Image, and is encouraged to be the boy that GOD Created him to be for a long enough period of time by his same-sex parent/authority figures and later his same-sex peers, then guess what? He thinks of himself as a boy made in GOD’S Image. Not inferior/superior to other boys nor superior/inferior to girls.

Many girls are unfortunately called a “tom-boy” when, according to PAPA’S Word, the girl is a girl who has been gifted athletically. Or, for short, she’s an athletic girl.

The good news is that when a girl is called a girl in a positive manner, is affirmed as a girl Created in GOD’S Image, and is encouraged to be the girl that GOD Created her to be for a long enough period of time by her same-sex parent/authority figures and later her same-sex peers, then guess what? She thinks of herself as a girl made in GOD’S Image. Not inferior/superior to other girls nor superior/inferior to boys.

In other words—when a boy feels like he’s “one of the boys” and a girl feels like she’s “one of the girls” for a long enough period of time, then those feelings become beliefs. These beliefs, because they’re in alignment with PAPA’S Word, help a person mature relationally as He Designed. (Maturity will need to be another blog—I’m sticking to just one focus!)

PAPA’S Blessings on each of every one of you, Dear Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee!

\/ 🙂

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(For the record, please know that the above post is a GREAT SIMPLIFICATION of the complexity of how a person learns to perceive himself or herself as a boy or a girl. This is, after all, only a short blog on suggesting the change of language. Thanks for reading!)

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CR Inside Testimony – 19 DEC 2012

CR Inside Testimony-2012-12-19-pdf

Here’s the testimony I shared with almost 70 women at the Gadsden Correctional Facility on WED 19 DEC 2012.

PAPA’S Blessings upon ALL the women who heard some of what KING JESUS has done in my life! I pray you all make JESUS your LORD, KING, MASTER, & BEST FRIEND!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee  \/ 🙂

 

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