Dear PAPA,

I desperately need Your Help to write what You placed on my heart over five years ago & have only recently begun to share with others. Please. Help. And ALL TO YOUR GLORY!!!

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(For the record, please know that the post below is a GREAT SIMPLIFICATION of the complexity of how a person learns to perceive himself or herself as a boy or a girl. This is, after all, only a short blog on suggesting the change of language. Thanks for reading!)

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Dear Readers,

If you live in the United States like I do, then you’ve probably heard that the term Same-Sex Attraction (SSA) is the same thing as homosexual feelings.

I disagree. Wholeheartedly.

But, wait, Melanee! You say you’re spiritually reborn as a Daughter of KING YESHUA and that His Word is infallible—how can you say you disagree? I’m so glad you asked!

Let me start with something seemingly unrelated . . .

I’ve observed that many people prefer shorter ways to say something. I do, too. For example, I would prefer to say, “Small Group Leader” rather than “Small Group Facilitator” anytime I can. Why? It’s three syllables shorter. I’m serious! It’s meaning is often the same, but the number of syllables are different.

That’s one of the reasons why for years I was happy with shortening my name to “Mel.” It was fewer syllables for others to say and fewer letters for me to write. What a great deal!

Until I entered recovery on 1 SEP 1995.

That’s when I began to ask PAPA to show me everything in my life that was NOT in alignment with Him—with His Word. And He has been EXTREMELY Faithful! (He’s like that, ya know!) My name was just one of them.

Since starting recovery, He has shown me MANY ways in which my thoughts, words, beliefs, attitudes, and actions were out of alignment with Him—were incorrect. Some of my habits were easy to let go. Some were not. Some are still kicking my butt when I’m tired or hurting. (True!)

But the one thing that PAPA is really drawing my attention to is the INCORRECT use of the term SSA (same-sex attraction)—as if SSA is the same thing as homosexual feelings.

They are NOT. Homosexual thoughts and behavior are sin. Same-sex attractions are not.

Yes, you read correctly. SSA is not sin.

SEXUALIZED SSA fantasies and actions ARE sin (along with many other sexual sins). But the normal (yes, normal), same-sex attractions that GOD created ALL humans with—they are NOT sin.

The desires/attractions to deeply connect to and identify with our same-sex parent, same-sex authority figures, and later, our same-sex peers are gifts from PAPA that need to be properly nurtured and protected so we can grow into maturity.

Will you read that sentence, again—and slower this time?

In other words, if a person is trying to “get rid of” their GOD-given same-sex attractions, it’s not going to happen. It can’t. GOD made each and every one of us with the need to be intimately connected with others of our same-sex in accordance to His Design as stated in His Word. And He’s NOT going to make “it” go away.

If, though, a person’s GOD-given SSA has become sexualized and/or romanticized and/or emotionally dependent (for whatever reasons, and there are many), then something is NOT in alignment with how PAPA Created men/boys and women/girls to perceive themselves and others who are of the same sex. (FYI: In this post, I’m not going to discuss heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, transsexuality, asexuality, or gender-identity confusion—I’m only discussing the inappropriate language use of SSA.)

Here’s my reason for writing about language:

Since KING YESHUA made it abundantly clear that it is a TERRIBLE thing to place (or be) a stumbling block to others—especially regarding children—then I must write and ask:

Will each of you Dear Readers consider adding a few more syllables to your language?

If you said, “Yes!” then please consider adding these four syllables—sexualized SSA. Or romanticized SSA. Or emotionally dependent SSA. (Okay, I know—that last one is eight syllables, but you get the point . . .)

And will you also consider educating others about the difference? Otherwise, there are young people (and some older folks, too) who will continue to attempt to “get rid of” their GOD-given SSA. And if they don’t learn that they can’t get rid of “it,” then they will, like many others before them, become frustrated, depressed, and possibly suicidal when “it” doesn’t go away.

If what I’ve asked seems ridiculous or unimportant, then please take a moment to read my rationale:

PAPA Created me with:

– SSA (not sexualized SSA — just plain SSA),

– the desire to connect with other girls/women (rather than disconnect from them), and

– the desire to notice how other girls/women lived, looked, behaved, etc., so I could emulate them (rather than reject my own gender).

Until I actually grasped those Truths, I literally worked hard to “get rid of” those desires. And the harder I worked to make “it” go away, the greater my SSA became sexualized. The more my SSA became sexualized, the more I thought (and eventually believed) that I was homosexual.

Eventually, I succumbed to the lie that I was a lesbian. Even after I became a Christian. And I’m just one of thousands of people who have believed the same lie.

I hope that helps to clarify why this is such an important topic to take seriously. And to take action.

In short—SSA is NORMAL (i.e., is supposed to occur). And, is a GOD-given relational gift between members of the same sex (boys amongst boys as brothers and girls amongst girls as sisters).

So—are you with me? Are you ready to start re-educating yourself and others in this important area of language that is in alignment with PAPA and His Word?

I sure hope so! Because all of us are Created in His Image—and using a few more syllables will be worth producing good, healthy fruit in your own life and in others’ lives, as well!

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If you need more examples of the importance of how language can be used to help shape a person’s perception of him/herself, here are a few:

Many boys are insultingly called “sissy” or “girl” or “faggot,” when, according to PAPA’S Word, the boy is a boy who has been gifted artistically. Or, for short, he’s an artistic boy.

The good news is that when a boy is called a boy in a positive manner, is affirmed as a boy Created in GOD’S Image, and is encouraged to be the boy that GOD Created him to be for a long enough period of time by his same-sex parent/authority figures and later his same-sex peers, then guess what? He thinks of himself as a boy made in GOD’S Image. Not inferior/superior to other boys nor superior/inferior to girls.

Many girls are unfortunately called a “tom-boy” when, according to PAPA’S Word, the girl is a girl who has been gifted athletically. Or, for short, she’s an athletic girl.

The good news is that when a girl is called a girl in a positive manner, is affirmed as a girl Created in GOD’S Image, and is encouraged to be the girl that GOD Created her to be for a long enough period of time by her same-sex parent/authority figures and later her same-sex peers, then guess what? She thinks of herself as a girl made in GOD’S Image. Not inferior/superior to other girls nor superior/inferior to boys.

In other words—when a boy feels like he’s “one of the boys” and a girl feels like she’s “one of the girls” for a long enough period of time, then those feelings become beliefs. These beliefs, because they’re in alignment with PAPA’S Word, help a person mature relationally as He Designed. (Maturity will need to be another blog—I’m sticking to just one focus!)

PAPA’S Blessings on each of every one of you, Dear Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee!

\/ 🙂

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(For the record, please know that the above post is a GREAT SIMPLIFICATION of the complexity of how a person learns to perceive himself or herself as a boy or a girl. This is, after all, only a short blog on suggesting the change of language. Thanks for reading!)

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