Strength, Mercy, and Plank-Pulling

Hey there, Readers!

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but I’ve REPENTED (yay!), so here is the latest–thanks for reading and for your prayers!

I’m re-reading Dan Allender’s book, Bold Love, and it’s reminding me of how much I’ve forgotten. Below is both a concept from Dan’s book and the Scripture related to it. (The following concept may seem totally UNbiblical, at first, but stay with me through the Scripture and post.)

Alright, here we go . . .

The concept is that GOD hates sin (y’all knew that one)–AND–He hates the sinner. (I know–that sounds totally contrary to what you’ve probably heard, but hang in there.)

— Proverbs 3:31-32 (AMP)

“Do not resentfully envy and be jealous of an unscrupulous, grasping man, and choose none of his ways. [Ps. 37:1; 73:3; Prov. 24:1.] For the perverse [man is] an abomination [extremely disgusting and detestable] to the Lord; but His confidential communion and secret counsel are with the [uncompromisingly] righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with Him). [Ps. 25:14.] (Proverbs 3:31, 32 AMP).”

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Does this really mean that PAPA hates sinners? That people who practice perversity can be an abomination to Him? Well, according to Scripture, GOD hates people who sin (that’s all of us).

BUT THERE’S GREAT NEWS!!! GOD LOVES ALL PEOPLE!!! (We are created in His Image, ya know.)

PAPA Loves all people so much that He sent His Son, KING YESHUA, to literally bear His Wrath (that’s STRENGTH). And–PAPA hates people who are dominated by sin, so He sent His Beloved Son to DIE IN OUR PLACE (that’s MERCY).

In other words–PAPA’S Great Love is ALWAYS demonstrated by BOTH His Strength and Mercy. That’s His BOLD Love!
:-)

This is what I’m wanting to communicate–as Allender notes, it’s not “sin” that goes to Hell, it is unrepentant PEOPLE.

UNrepentant people go to Hell.

Literally.

People who reject JESUS’ Lordship in their lives go to Hell. People who reject Who KING YESHUA says He Is, go to Hell.

And if a person rejects who He says they are to be, then, according to Proverbs 3:32, that person will NOT be in Communion with GOD nor be in His Counsel. That sure gets my attention!

He says He is to be my LORD, KING, MASTER, SAVIOUR, FATHER, and BEST FRIEND–just to name a few. He says I’m to be HIS Beloved Daughter. He says I am to accept His Cleansing Correction, His Divine Disciplining, and His Absolute Adoration of me–all because He’s my DAD. I’m NOT to be a perverse person. I’m NOT to be one who rejects Him and His Ways.

I’ve been asking PAPA to infuse those realizations DEEP into my innermost being. Really DEEP!

Are you willing to risk letting those realizations sink deep into your being as you read and re-read that PAPA hates perverse people, yet He will share His Counsel with upright people?

I want KING JESUS to Share His Counsel with me! Yes, I do!!!
:-)

So, although I’ve repented from my OLD way of living and have been RE-BORN (thank You, PAPA!), I MUST (still) FIRST remove the PLANK (daily) from my own eye BEFORE I go near another person to help them with the SPECK in their eye! (I know y’all were wondering what any of this had to do with plank-pulling! It’s about dealing with MY sin, FIRST, before helping anyone else see their sin.)

PAPA wants me to live as HE says–not as my OLD way (my sin nature) demands–as it even wars to have dominion over me.

PRAYER:

KING JESUS, I desperately need You!!! I need to totally depend on You–no matter what it costs me–because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!!! And so am I!!! And so are all the people You bring me in contact with!!! Thank You for Your Loving Strength that makes it possible for me to see my planks (my sins) as You See them. And thank You for Your Loving Mercy as You PATIENTLY help me remove the planks so that I am NOT dominated by them!
:-)

So, Dear Readers, I pray you will join me in a life of “plank-pulling” in order to live an upright life where PAPA Graces you with His Intimate Communion and Counsel—and—so you can help others with their specks!

Much Love in HIS Great Love!

Plank-Pulling Warrior Princess Melanee!
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Are You Taking GOD At HIS Word? Or Are You Believing The CONverses?

Dear Readers,

Today’s post is on taking PAPA’S Word as Complete Truth — or — believing the CONverses (opposites) of HIS Word. In a nutshell, either KING YESHUA and His Word are PURE, HOLY, RIGHTEOUS, and TRUE — or — KING YESHUA is a lying imposter and HIS Word is worth less than trash. There is NO middle ground. (The Scriptures for today are John 8:12 and Isaiah 42:6-8.)

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– John 8:12 (Amplified)

“Once more Jesus addressed the crowd. He said, ‘I am the Light of the world. He who follows Me will not be walking in the dark, but will have the Light which is Life.'”

– John 8:12 (Amplified)
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Given what KING YESHUA Says in John 8:12, the CONverses would be:

The person who follows KING YESHUA (i.e., Him, His Word, and His Will), WILL BE walking in darkness — and — will NOT have The Light which is Life.
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– Isaiah 42:6-8 (Amplified)

I the Lord have called You [the Messiah] for a righteous purpose and in righteousness; I will take You by the hand and will keep You; I will give You for a covenant to the people [Israel], for a light to the nations [Gentiles],

To open the eyes of the blind, to bring out prisoners from the dungeon, and those who sit in darkness from the prison. [Matt. 12:18-21.]

I am the Lord; that is My name! And My glory I will not give to another, nor My praise to graven images.

– Isaiah 42:6-8 (Amplified)
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Given what GOD Says in Isaiah 42:6-8, the CONverses would be:

KING YESHUA (The MESSIAH) was called by GOD to UNrighteousness, was NOT led by GOD, was NOT given to Israel as a covenant, and was NOT given to the Gentiles as a Light.

– [CONverses continued]

KING YESHUA was NOT sent to open the eyes of the blind and He was NOT sent to set prisoners free from darkness. (In other words, the CONverse would be that KING YESHUA came to leave people in darkness — both physically and spiritually. The CONverse would be that He was impotent to completely change people’s lives.)

– [CONverses continued]

GOD Himself is NOT The LORD, He will give His Glory away to someone other than MESSIAH, and He will give praise to graven images (a.k.a., idols, sin, anything/anyone a person has surrendered their life to).
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So, here’s “The Question” — Are You Taking GOD At HIS Word?

If NOT, then you (like Adam and Eve), are choosing your own understanding — which is powerless against satan’s perverted words.

Although there are two options — LIFE or death — only ONE CHOICE can be made.

Either choose The Loving LORD, KING YESHUA and HIS Truth, to Rule you and your eternal LIFE — or — choose the lying enemy, satan and his perversions, to rule you and your eternal death. There is NOT a third option.

Now you know.

Now — right now — you get to choose whom you will serve: KING YESHUA and HIS Word of TRUTH (a.k.a., LIFE and LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY!) — or — the CONverse, which is self (who has no power over sin, death, worldly pressures, or satan).

You CAN choose The LIGHT of LIFE!

Will you?

I pray you do!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
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(P.S. If you chose KING YESHUA and HIS Word of Truth (The Holy Bible), I would love to hear your story, so please feel free to share!)

DEC 1985 – SEP 1995 (the short version)

Dear Readers,

Below is a small portion of KING YESHUA’S Story in my life. It’s short, but it’s about The One Who IS GOOD!!! 🙂

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On MON 23 DEC 1985 around 1000 (10:00 am) I became a born-again Christian. My life was NEW!!! And CLEAN!!! And AWESOME!!! Woohoo!!! 🙂

What I didn’t know was, that in order for my emotional, romantic, sexual feelings to be transformed, I would need to practice being rigorously honest with GOD, myself, and others I trusted. My perception at that time was: If I just give my homosexual feelings to GOD, then He would change them into romantic and sexual feelings for men. Kinda like, “Poof!”

That didn’t work.

In FEB 1988, I started a romantic and sexual relationship with another woman who was struggling against homosexuality. Neither of us were very strong (obviously), and in October of that year I experienced my first suicidal feelings.

In the spring of 1989, I returned to living as a homosexual. Why? Because I could not escape my romantic and sexual feelings for other women — I couldn’t make them go away. And since they hadn’t changed (regardless of how many times I begged GOD to take them away), I decided that He must not want to change them, either. I told JESUS that I could no longer deny He was GOD — but I also told Him that I could no longer deny I was a lesbian.

So, off I went to live my new life as a lesbian Christian in Gainesville, FL. Sure, I had questions like, “Are homosexual thoughts and activity sin?” But mainly I was determined to not feel ashamed of my homosexual feelings. And, I really DID want others to know JESUS and give their life to Him. Really.

In OCT 1990, I and the woman I thought would be my forever life-partner, had a ceremony at the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) in Gainesville. Both of our gay-identified brothers were present and signed the document as our witnesses.

On 11 NOV 1991, my brother passed away due to AIDS. In 1992, my life-partner and I moved to Tallahassee and in the fall of 1993, we started the MCC in the capital city of FL. Everything seemed great. I was kind of like the “temporary pastor” of the church — not preaching, but the out-front leader who taught that GOD blessed committed, monogamous homosexuality.

There was a big problem I kept running into, though — I didn’t know how to talk to folks about their sin problems. You see, since I was teaching that homosexuality was *not* sin, then how could I claim that GOD’S Word called their behaviors sinful? How could I say to them that there was hope for them to repent of  their sins?

I could not.

Not lying. Not stealing. Not gossiping. Not adultery. Not fornication. Not even pedophilia. “Who was I to judge?” That’s what I kept hearing in my head. So, suffice it to say, I didn’t have much “power” in my life and I felt hopeless to do anything about it.

Even in the midst of my hopeless powerlessness, though, I met some phenomenal folks through MCC, but they were not the answer to my sin problem. My rebellion could not be “fixed” by any human. Well, not any natural human, anyway. 😉

It took only a few years before I couldn’t take the depression any longer. (For those of you who haven’t experienced it, it is extremely tormenting to say there is freedom in CHRIST to change, while simultaneously refusing to surrender to Him and His Power in every area of one’s own life. That’s called “making two choices.” I blogged about that earlier.)

Back to the story . . .

I didn’t want to live with this torment any more, but I didn’t know how I could kill myself.

But, GOD . . .

Only because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, demonstrated through His Word and a few key folks, did my life begin to have hope. TRUE Hope. Hope for freedom from the tormenting lies I believed about both GOD and myself.

Mainly, though, my prayer was a simple, desperate cry to JESUS — “GOD! I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be!”

So, on 1 SEP 1995, I started “recovery” regarding feelings — all feelings. The first thing my therapist did was send me to PAPA’S Word to find out what He Says about Himself, what He Says about me, and what He Says about me and Him — together.

This time, though, I wasn’t doing it all alone. This time I had both spiritual and physical support through some of KING YESHUA’S people who had a clue how to love me with 100% Strength and 100% Mercy — His Great Love! HalleluYAH! 🙂 Thank You, KING YESHUA!!! 🙂

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That, Precious Readers, is the SHORT version of life for me from 23 DEC 1985 – 1 SEP 1995!

Thanks for reading and PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
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Sorrow Unto LIFE! (versus sorrow unto death)

Dear Readers,

Thanks for joining me today! How are you? I pray you are GROWING in your intimacy with KING YESHUA through talking/listening to Him, studying His HOLY SPIRIT’S Word, obeying Him, and resting in GOD’S Presence!

Speaking of GOD’S Presence, this post is about what PAPA Taught me on TUE 1 OCT 2013 (and is continuing to Teach me) about honoring and respecting others. A painful (and not pretty) lesson, but an extremely necessary one. Read on, you’ll see!
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I blew it relationally with my Adopted Mom last night – ugh!

Thankfully, she expressed her feelings before we parted company, and I apologized and asked for her forgiveness.

But PAPA knew I needed to recognize some SERIOUSLY harmful behavior patterns (in recovery language it’s called, “character defects”). He also wanted me to be willing to make some changes; hence, this post.

What did I do wrong? I made two choices — simultaneously. I texted Mom that I would see her soon to pick-up a VERY special package (my new inductive study Bible!) – woohoo!!! 🙂

That was one choice.

The second choice I made was to stop and talk with a friend — even though I KNEW I was committed to be elsewhere by a certain time.

After I chose the delay over honoring my Mom, I whined to her on the phone about how important that package was (I told you this wasn’t pretty!). So even though she was completely exhausted and needed to go home immediately, I whined some more. (I’m calling it whining, because whining is NOT honorable or respectful.) More attempting to convince Mom through whining.

Mom relented.

I cried, but only because I felt bad about my Mom being so tired. That’s called sorrow unto death — or ungodly sorrow (a.k.a., being sorry I “got caught”).

When we met so she could give me the package, I was still convinced in my self-centered thinking, that if I could just show Mom how SPECIAL the Bible was to me, then surely she wouldn’t be upset with me any more.

Not! (And rightfully so!)

I had dishonored and disrespected my Mom’s time and energy by making a second choice (talking with a friend) — AND — I didn’t want to accept the consequences (not having the package that night).

So although I apologized and asked for forgiveness, it wasn’t until after Mom left (with no rejoicing about my special Bible), that I sat in my car and bawled my eyes out. But this time I cried because I was beginning to “get it.” I had harmed my Mom, which also meant I had harmed our relationship. I was beginning to experience sorrow unto LIFE — HalleluYAH!!!
🙂

That’s when PAPA reminded me of what my first recovery therapist taught me about two choices. How it’s INSANE to make two choices and, in order to be SANE, I would need to choose One Thing. Make One Choice.

PAPA continued by Telling me, “Melanee – you were being immature, selfish, and self-centered when you made two choices. Especially when you didn’t want to accept and own the consequences of your actions.”

So.I.Repented. And PAPA Forgave me. That’s how GOOD HE IS! 🙂

So, this blog is the first fruits of repentance. Owning my stuff in a public forum so that my harmful behavior patterns are no longer a secret. Instead, my “two choices” and “refusing to own my responsibility” are out in KING YESHUA’S Light where transformation occurs! HalleluYAH!!!!!!!
🙂

Thanks for listening, Precious Readers, and PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
(who is learning to make ONE CHOICE and stick to it!)
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Dear Readers,

Here is a question I’ve been pondering on for months:

“How do I, as a Daughter of The Great High KING YESHUA, demonstrate His Great Love to ALL of my neighbors as I go through my day-to-day living?”

Well, as you can probably guess, I decided to study PAPA’S Word to see how KING YESHUA demonstrated His Great Love to others as He went about His daily life.

First, though, before I begin asking my study questions, let me define PAPA’S Great Love as 100% Strength AND 100% Mercy—simultaneously. (That definition comes from Dan Allender’s study of The Scriptures, especially The Psalms.)

For the record, let me state that KING YESHUA always demonstrated (verbally, physically, and attitudinally) His Great Love to EVERYONE He came in contact with. Everyone. That includes the Pharisees and Sadducees, the liars, lepers, adulterers, gossipers, fornicators, swindlers, and back-biters. It includes the people who were mean-spirited, apathetic, hard-hearted, and rebellious as well as those coveting other people’s belongings, looks, status, power, and money. He Loved the folks who were living as homosexuals, bi-sexuals, cross-dressers, pedophiles, prostitutes, pimps, witches, thieves, and drunkards, along with the people who were sexually/physically/emotionally abusing and neglecting children. He demonstrated His Great Love to people who called evil, good and good, evil.

The “loudest” demonstration of His Great Love (prior to The Cross) was in The Temple in Jerusalem. He Loved the money changers who were being stumbling blocks to the Jews who wanted to enter The Temple. THAT was a POWERFUL demonstration of His Great Love! Woohoo!!! 🙂

So, do you currently fit into any of those categories or have you in the past? I have. And I can still be hard-hearted and rebellious, just to name two. And boy-howdee, my rebelliousness shows up in U.G.L.Y. ways. (As if rebelliousness is ever “pretty”?)

Yet, KING YESHUA still LOVES you and me! 🙂

He does NOT like or love sin. Not yours, mine, or anyone else’s.

So . . . how does KING YESHUA demonstrate His Great Love towards people WITHOUT loving their sin? How did He minister to and serve others, regardless of the way they lived? Let’s see what His Word says . . .

My Q&A Study Subject: Does GOD Bless Sin or People or Both?

According to PAPA’S Word . . .

1. Are there any examples of KING YESHUA Blessing sin? (No. Absolutely not.)

2. Are there any examples of Him using His Carpentry, His Words, His Actions to Bless others’ sin? (No. No. And no.)

3. Does Scripture record KING YESHUA attending any ceremony that was celebrating sin? (No.)

4. Does Scripture record Him interacting with sinners, tax-collectors, and hard-hearted Pharisees and Sadducees? (Yes! Yes! And yes!)

5. Did KING YESHUA go into the homes of unrepentant sinners, and eat meals with pride-filled people? (Yes, absolutely!)

6. Did He speak Lovingly (based on the 100% Strength and 100% Mercy definition) to the pride-filled and hard-hearted people? (Yes!)

7. Did KING YESHUA attend a wedding between a Jewish man and woman? (Yes.)

8. Did He bless the husband and wife with a (supernatural) physical gift of the best wine? (Yes.)

Okay, so what are those eight questions about? And — so what?

First, the questions above are just “samples” to get you started in asking your own SPECIFIC study questions on KING YESHUA’S earthly life. There are thousands more subjects to study and questions to ask, so ask away!

Second, the answer to the “so what?” question is . . . because. Because I want to live my life more and more like KING YESHUA did, I need to know what He did and didn’t do while on this earth. Or more accurately stated, I need to know what Scripture actually records Him doing and saying.

Additionally, in order to APPLY His Word more fully in every area of my life, I need to study His Word to see “How?” He did what He did and said what He said.

HOW did KING YESHUA interact with others while He was physically present in their midst on a day-to-day basis? (FYI: I’m not referring to The Cross — that’s THE ULTIMATE expression of His Great Love!)

How did He DEMONSTRATE His Great Love for each one of them individually when He was Face-to-face with them?

How did He verbally, physically, and attitudinally communicate His Amazing Love (100% Strength-100% Mercy) to others, whether He was alone with them or in a group setting?

How did He implement boundaries (an expression of Love) so that He “stayed the course” of doing His FATHER’S Will?

How?

Well, let’s find out what KING YESHUA says in His Word. (BTW, it’s His HOLY SPIRIT’S Word and His HOLY SPIRIT’S Presence inside of me that keeps me on the straight and narrow path of following in PAPA’S Footsteps. Otherwise, I lean on my own limited understanding and we all know that’s NOT good!)

Here’s a framework question that helps me: “What examples are there in Scripture of _________________ [fill-in the blank]?”

For this blog, the question is: “What examples are there in Scripture of KING YESHUA demonstrating His Great Love to people — and — how is His 100% Strength AND 100% Mercy expressed in those examples?”

Now, dear Readers, this is where YOU come in! If you’re willing, cite the Bible (book, chapter, and verses) that answer both parts of that question!

(As I already mentioned, His GREATEST demonstration is The Cross (that’s obvious!) — so you’ll have to choose other examples!)  😉

I’m looking forward to your replies!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
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I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y.

Dear Readers,

My Home Church (Calvary Chapel Tallahassee) has just started a class called: “Self-Confrontation: A Manual for In-Depth Biblical Discipleship.”
[sub subtitle] – “Based on [The Bible] as the only authoritative rule of faith and conduct.”

I mention this class because it’s ALL about I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y. — truly!

The book is *not* about beating people up emotionally or spiritually (that would be abusive). It’s *not* lax in calling sin what it is — wrong and destructive, nor is it lax in saying WHO my IDENTITY is to be based on — (that would be neglectful to not state Truth clearly).

I say all of that because if I base my IDENTITY on anything (or anyone) other than CHRIST JESUS, then I have a problem that needs correcting (just like being abusive and/or neglectful). But no worries, because KING YESHUA’S Word is ALL about lovingly, firmly, clearly, consistently, and mercifully transforming me more and more into Himself!

The Scriptures repeat this same thing over and over again. (See the post script for a little more on this.)

If I were to say, do, or write anything contrary to what PAPA’S Word says, I sure hope my Brothers and Sisters would *love me enough* to share with me what His Word says. And to walk alongside of me as I adjust to the growing pains, to help lift me up when it gets REALLY painful, as well as to rejoice with me when victories are made! Especially when it comes to my IDENTITY. (Yes, I know — I’m capitalizing that word repeatedly. It’s because it’s one of the main FOUNDATIONAL parts of being born-again.)

And, while I’m thinking about it — it doesn’t matter *who* I’m talking to (Christian or non-believer) — my I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y. remains the same. My focus is about WHO Saved me. That’s Who I focus my IDENTITY on. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Yet, there are times when I do focus elsewhere — this IS about rigorous honesty, yes? 🙂 — and when I do focus elsewhere, it’s not good. Not even close. And it sure doesn’t Glorify PAPA. No, it does not.

Here’s the REAL kicker! If I do *not* Glorify The One Who Created me (by what I say, do, write, etc.) — AND — I claim to follow Him, then I’m sending mixed messages to others. And that’s REALLY not good! (Short version: Mixed messages = destructive. Clear, Clean Boundaries = HEALTHY!)

One last thought — I just shared this in a prayer with a dear Warrior Princess Sister earlier: Because of The Scriptures, I know that I know that I know that PAPA has Clothed me in KING YESHUA’S Righteousness — I am Clothed in Him! I have been made *forever* C.L.E.A.N.!!! HalleluYAH!!! With that understanding of my IDENTITY, I want to walk, live, talk, think, behave, write, etc. more and more CLEAN (rather than more and more dirty). BUT – when I do get “muddy” from my sin (or other’s sin) on this earth, no worries! Because PAPA Washes me clean, again! Yahoo!!! 🙂

Well, thanks for letting me write (& write & write & write!) — these are some thoughts I’ve been wanting to share for years.

I pray you passionately pursue The One Who Died & Rose Again for you!!! And may you live out your I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y. in HIM — nothing more and nothing less! Shalom, dear Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
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(P.S.  My acronym of the gist of what Scripture says I need in order for me to GROW and produce FRUIT is: R.O.P.E.!
Repent AND Obey AND Persevere. All three are required to produce GROWTH. But if I want FRUIT, then I will need to Endure testing, pain, and hardship! Then I will have MUCH good Fruit to share with others! In case you missed it – R.O.P.E.! = Repent, Obey, Persevere, Endure!)

Fearless Confidence In KING YESHUA!!! :-)

Dear Readers,

I wanted to share what PAPA has been showing me in Hebrews 10.
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Hebrews 10:34-36 (AMP)

v. 34
“For you did sympathize and suffer along with those who were imprisoned, and you bore cheerfully the plundering of your belongings and the confiscation of your property, in the knowledge and consciousness that you yourselves had a better and lasting possession.”

— I have yet to bear “cheerfully the plundering of [my] belongings and the confiscation of [my] property.” (I’m referring to numerous incidents years ago with a particular Adopted Family Member.)

So . . . , since PAPA makes it VERY clear here (and in other verses in Scripture) of how I’m to live when others attack me, I wanted to share my prayer with y’all.

“KING YESHUA, I ask You and I thank You for doing whatever it takes to soften my heart towards You, Your Word, and Your Will in every area of my life — no matter what it costs me — especially in the area of cheerfully bearing attacks (both past, present, and future).”
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v. 35
“Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward.”

— Fearless confidence?? I’ve not even REMOTELY been confident for weeks, much less been fearless!

But, GOD . . . , He Says He does NOT want me to fling it away, but I didn’t even realize He WANTED ME to have fearless confidence!! I’m serious!

But, GOD . . . , He has been patiently revealing to me what that means and what it looks like.

And it is . . . GLORIOUS!!!!!!!

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v. 36
“For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised.”

— Ahhhh . . . , here are THE REASONS why PAPA wants me to live a life of fearless confidence in Him — and the vital necessity of my developing “steadfast patience and endurance”:

“. . . so that [I] may perform and fully accomplish” His Will — PLUS! — so I can “receive and carry away what is promised” — AND — fully enjoy it, too!!!!!!!

W.O.W. . . . . double-triple W.O.W. . . . . . it sure doesn’t get any better than that!
🙂
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Well, Dear Readers, I hope PAPA radically uses Hebrews 10:34-36 to BLESS you & all of yours!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee!
(who is working on cheerfully bearing attacks and living in fearless confidence in KING YESHUA!!! OORAH!!!)
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My Life — Where Do I Start?

Dear PAPA,

In order to TRULY obey You, I need to write the story of my life — and I have REALLY been resisting doing just that. No, make that REBELLIOUSLY REFUSING to obey You for three (3) years.

Oh, PAPA . . . (my heart’s crying) . . . I am so sorry.

“You are forgiven, Lovee. You are forgiven. Always.”

Thank You, PAPA, thank You!!! (my heart’s rejoicing and is enCOURAGED!)

“Write on, Daughter, write on!!! :-)”

______________________________________

Dear Readers,

So . . . where do I start writing about my life? Well, as one of my favorite musical movie lines says, “At the beginning — it’s a very good place to start!” 😉

I was probably conceived in the month of January of my birth year, but I was ORIGINALLY Conceived before time ever began. I was Conceived in PAPA GOD’S Good Heart and He Is THE One to Whom I owe everything! Thank You, PAPA!!!

“You are welcome, Lovee! Now, get onto telling the story! :-)”

Yes, Sir!

Ahem . . . (clearing throat and getting back to writing!) 🙂

I’m the youngest of four (4) children and was raised all over the United States in a career military family. My biological father (Maynard, Sr.) was in the Navy and his last rank before retiring was as a CPO (Chief Petty Officer). “Grease Monkey” was one of the nicknames for helicopter mechanics and that was definitely one of his areas of expertise.

My biological mother (Ruth) was living in Jacksonville, Florida when she met Maynard, Sr. at a bar. She had already been married and divorced two times (along with one partner she didn’t marry), but no children from any of those three men. Ruth and Maynard, Sr. married in 1956 and soon thereafter started having children.

In 1957, my oldest brother, Maynard, Jr., was born in Patuxent River, Maryland — the same place where my sister, Michelle, was born one year after him. My youngest brother, Mark, was born the year following in Memphis,Tennessee. Two years later, I arrived in Jacksonville, FL — the city where my parents originally met.

Sometime after my birth, Maynard, Sr. went through a particularly personal surgery which made it so there wouldn’t be any more children. Of course, I only learned that piece of information many, many years after I was born.

My family moved around quite a lot, being a Navy family and all. As a matter of fact, I lived in ten different houses by the time I was ten years old. Yup.

After being born in Jax (Jacksonville), my family moved back to Patuxent River (Pax River) where my memories of snow are PHENOMENAL!!! 🙂 Of course, that’s because I wasn’t driving in it, I was sledding down the hill with my three siblings! 🙂

Next state was California — Imperial Beach and Silver Stand, to be exact. I started kindergarten in Imperial Beach and transferred to Silver Strand in the middle of 1st grade. In 2nd grade I met my FAVORITIST teacher, Mrs. Starr. She loved the red-skinned peanuts and my mom bought numerous cans of them for me to give to her. Mrs. Starr was also my 3rd grade teacher and when I had to leave her and my classmates to move to Texas, my heart was torn to pieces. Imagine my SURPRISE when Valentine’s Day came (the February after moving in December) and I received a BIG envelope addressed to me!!! Inside were dozens of valentine cards from my Silver Strand classmates and, of course, my extra-special teacher, Mrs. Starr! 🙂

Before I continue with The Lone Star State of Texas, let me share one conversation I remember having with Mrs. Starr. I asked her, “Mrs. Starr, do you have a nice husband?” She enthusiastically replied, “I most certainly do!” With that answer, I immediately asked her the question that I had been desiring to ask her for a long time, “Mrs. Starr, may I come live with you and your husband?” I don’t remember how she answered my 2nd question (I’m sure she was caught quite off guard), but I’ve never forgotten nor repressed that conversation. I’ve thanked PAPA many times for Mrs. Starr and one of these days I hope to connect with her (if she’s still on this earth).

Back to the Yellow Rose of Texas . . .

Without a doubt, both California and Texas were my two favorite places growing up! I have MANY fond memories of friends and school in those two states. Ironically, they were also where some of the worst sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect occurred. I’m grateful for the extremely fond memories outside of the house — they helped me cope with the atrocities committed against me inside the house. Another reason I loved those two states was the weather! California had PHENOMENAL weather (true!) and a GREAT ocean with lots of BIG boulders, while Texas had some serious sand storms! Yup, you guessed it — I loved it! 🙂 I didn’t have to drive in it (kinda like snow and ice), but it changed everything and I loved that! The tumbleweeds could get really big and they would roll around like nobody’s business! Yup! Purty cool! 🙂

It was in Texas where the story of “Charlotte’s Web” was first read to me and in that same Beeville school was where I first started participating in “Olympic” athletic events. (Both of my parents were excellent athletes and my entire family played fast-pitch softball together.) The sporting events were held annually for each school. The school winners in each event were sent to the “big stadium” to compete against other schools. Two years in a row I competed in the softball throw and both years came in first in my school and third at the big stadium for my age. Then we moved to Georgia in the middle of my 5th grade.

Before we moved, my neighbor across the street (Jimmy Patterson) gave me a kiss on my left cheek. I gave him one on his cheek, too. I was torn when I left Silver Strand, but I was DEVASTATED when I had to leave Beeville. So much so, that I made an “inner vow” to NEVER get close to another friend, again. It wouldn’t be until decades later (after entering recovery in 1995), when I began to learn how destructive inner vows are, the vital need to repent of those vows, and to ask JESUS to CHaSM (Cleanse, Heal, and Strengthen, Mature) me. In the mean time, though, this vow was just one more to add to the dozens of vows I had already made from being sexually abused.

Maynard, Sr. retired in Texas, so Georgia was the first state I lived with him being around all year long. Bainbridge, Georgia was where I first joined the band and tried-out for the girls’ basketball team in my 6th grade. We moved the middle of that year to Florida where I attended Sopchoppy Elementary School. There wasn’t a band or a girls’ basketball team at Sopchoppy. I was REALLY beside myself with these changes! PLUS — puberty had started developing on my body — WITHOUT my permission!!! I wanted to die and I HATED going to school with all of these changes! 😦

One bright spot was my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Hall, who was tall and very nice. The 5th grade teacher across the hall, Mrs. Margie Clay, was a nice lady, too, and the two classes sometimes did events together. I can still see how short Mrs. Clay was — especially when she stood next to Mrs. Hall! (I will share in another post how I know Mrs. Clay’s first name after all of these years.)

I was 10 years old when I entered the 6th grade and turned 11 a few months later. But while still in Georgia, I was given a BEAUTIFUL and SMART hound dog whom I named Brownie. She was the best dog that ever lived! Brownie made the trip to Florida, but she “disappeared” while we were living at what was called “the Posey house” in Medart. To this day I don’t know what happened to her or to my very first dog, Mollie (she was given to me in Beeville). It was years later (after my entering recovery) that Ruth allowed me to “interview” her over the phone. Mom answered every question I asked and she volunteered a lot of information, as well. One piece of info she shared was about Maynard, Sr. purposefully killing her dog, Teener (a miniature collie), while she (Mom) was in the hospital for one week in Pax River. I don’t know if that’s what happened to either of my dogs, but this much I do know: KING YESHUA knows and that’s all that matters.

Well, it’s getting time for me to get ready for some sleep. Next time, I’ll continue writing about 7th grade and beyond! 🙂

PAPA’S Blessings on each one of you, dear Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee
\/ 🙂

Celebrating 18 Years In Recovery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

Dear Readers,

I’m CELEBRATING the fact that 18 years ago (1 SEP 1995), is when trusting PAPA and obeying His Word was finally beginning to be enough for me — no matter what it cost me. HalleluYAH!!! 🙂

In a nutshell, this is what happened:

KING YESHUA gave me such a desperation for Him and Him Alone, that I was finally willing to cling to His Strength (rather than my own), and to face Him as He Truly Is — and myself as I truly was.

This made it possible for me to begin surrendering my homosexual behaviors, feelings, and identity to His Lordship. He also gave me His Tenacity to surrender my gender-identity confusion, self-hatred, secrets, and self-protective walls that I’d had for decades. He provided me with not only Himself and His Word, but also safe, trustworthy people to walk alongside me as I dealt with the damaging effects of over 13 years of childhood sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect.

Today, I’m also celebrating what He’s CURRENTLY doing in my life (a.k.a., “hot-off-the-press!”). 😉

PAPA hasn’t ever wanted me to “talk-out-of-fear” (or be “silent-out-of-fear”). Yet, fear has been a life-long destructive habit in my life, but I didn’t truly see it for the harmful problem it was until FEB 2012. He’s changed me a lot regarding fear-based-talking and I still have a LONG ways to go, but that’s okay because He only wants me to live ODAT! (One Day at a Time!) 🙂

I’m also working on obeying Him by writing on a regular basis (ta-daa!) :-), along with basic physical self-care like DAILY healthy nutrition, DAILY strength-training and stretching, DAILY teeth-brushing and flossing. (Yes, I’ve been having some trouble with those DAILY healthy habits!) 😉

And last, but not least, I’m taking “baby-steps” in fully surrendering all of my femininity to Him so He can continue maturing me into the Beautifully Captivating Princess Daughter He Created me to be! YAHOO!!! 🙂

That is the “nutshell” version. I pray what I’ve shared enCOURAGES you to surrender whatever you’re holding onto — whatever it is that is hindering you from fully responding to PAPA’S Great Love for you when He says, “Come to Me, Child, and I will give you My Rest.”

Keep on taking baby-steps towards KING YESHUA, dear Readers! You are worth it! PAPA says so! 🙂

In HIS Great Love!

Melanee Lisa!

One of KING YESHUA’S Beautiful Warrior Princess Daughters!
OORAH!!!  \/  🙂
ALL For PAPA’S Glory!!! 🙂

Changing Language

Dear PAPA,

I desperately need Your Help to write what You placed on my heart over five years ago & have only recently begun to share with others. Please. Help. And ALL TO YOUR GLORY!!!

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(For the record, please know that the post below is a GREAT SIMPLIFICATION of the complexity of how a person learns to perceive himself or herself as a boy or a girl. This is, after all, only a short blog on suggesting the change of language. Thanks for reading!)

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Dear Readers,

If you live in the United States like I do, then you’ve probably heard that the term Same-Sex Attraction (SSA) is the same thing as homosexual feelings.

I disagree. Wholeheartedly.

But, wait, Melanee! You say you’re spiritually reborn as a Daughter of KING YESHUA and that His Word is infallible—how can you say you disagree? I’m so glad you asked!

Let me start with something seemingly unrelated . . .

I’ve observed that many people prefer shorter ways to say something. I do, too. For example, I would prefer to say, “Small Group Leader” rather than “Small Group Facilitator” anytime I can. Why? It’s three syllables shorter. I’m serious! It’s meaning is often the same, but the number of syllables are different.

That’s one of the reasons why for years I was happy with shortening my name to “Mel.” It was fewer syllables for others to say and fewer letters for me to write. What a great deal!

Until I entered recovery on 1 SEP 1995.

That’s when I began to ask PAPA to show me everything in my life that was NOT in alignment with Him—with His Word. And He has been EXTREMELY Faithful! (He’s like that, ya know!) My name was just one of them.

Since starting recovery, He has shown me MANY ways in which my thoughts, words, beliefs, attitudes, and actions were out of alignment with Him—were incorrect. Some of my habits were easy to let go. Some were not. Some are still kicking my butt when I’m tired or hurting. (True!)

But the one thing that PAPA is really drawing my attention to is the INCORRECT use of the term SSA (same-sex attraction)—as if SSA is the same thing as homosexual feelings.

They are NOT. Homosexual thoughts and behavior are sin. Same-sex attractions are not.

Yes, you read correctly. SSA is not sin.

SEXUALIZED SSA fantasies and actions ARE sin (along with many other sexual sins). But the normal (yes, normal), same-sex attractions that GOD created ALL humans with—they are NOT sin.

The desires/attractions to deeply connect to and identify with our same-sex parent, same-sex authority figures, and later, our same-sex peers are gifts from PAPA that need to be properly nurtured and protected so we can grow into maturity.

Will you read that sentence, again—and slower this time?

In other words, if a person is trying to “get rid of” their GOD-given same-sex attractions, it’s not going to happen. It can’t. GOD made each and every one of us with the need to be intimately connected with others of our same-sex in accordance to His Design as stated in His Word. And He’s NOT going to make “it” go away.

If, though, a person’s GOD-given SSA has become sexualized and/or romanticized and/or emotionally dependent (for whatever reasons, and there are many), then something is NOT in alignment with how PAPA Created men/boys and women/girls to perceive themselves and others who are of the same sex. (FYI: In this post, I’m not going to discuss heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, transsexuality, asexuality, or gender-identity confusion—I’m only discussing the inappropriate language use of SSA.)

Here’s my reason for writing about language:

Since KING YESHUA made it abundantly clear that it is a TERRIBLE thing to place (or be) a stumbling block to others—especially regarding children—then I must write and ask:

Will each of you Dear Readers consider adding a few more syllables to your language?

If you said, “Yes!” then please consider adding these four syllables—sexualized SSA. Or romanticized SSA. Or emotionally dependent SSA. (Okay, I know—that last one is eight syllables, but you get the point . . .)

And will you also consider educating others about the difference? Otherwise, there are young people (and some older folks, too) who will continue to attempt to “get rid of” their GOD-given SSA. And if they don’t learn that they can’t get rid of “it,” then they will, like many others before them, become frustrated, depressed, and possibly suicidal when “it” doesn’t go away.

If what I’ve asked seems ridiculous or unimportant, then please take a moment to read my rationale:

PAPA Created me with:

– SSA (not sexualized SSA — just plain SSA),

– the desire to connect with other girls/women (rather than disconnect from them), and

– the desire to notice how other girls/women lived, looked, behaved, etc., so I could emulate them (rather than reject my own gender).

Until I actually grasped those Truths, I literally worked hard to “get rid of” those desires. And the harder I worked to make “it” go away, the greater my SSA became sexualized. The more my SSA became sexualized, the more I thought (and eventually believed) that I was homosexual.

Eventually, I succumbed to the lie that I was a lesbian. Even after I became a Christian. And I’m just one of thousands of people who have believed the same lie.

I hope that helps to clarify why this is such an important topic to take seriously. And to take action.

In short—SSA is NORMAL (i.e., is supposed to occur). And, is a GOD-given relational gift between members of the same sex (boys amongst boys as brothers and girls amongst girls as sisters).

So—are you with me? Are you ready to start re-educating yourself and others in this important area of language that is in alignment with PAPA and His Word?

I sure hope so! Because all of us are Created in His Image—and using a few more syllables will be worth producing good, healthy fruit in your own life and in others’ lives, as well!

___________________________________________

If you need more examples of the importance of how language can be used to help shape a person’s perception of him/herself, here are a few:

Many boys are insultingly called “sissy” or “girl” or “faggot,” when, according to PAPA’S Word, the boy is a boy who has been gifted artistically. Or, for short, he’s an artistic boy.

The good news is that when a boy is called a boy in a positive manner, is affirmed as a boy Created in GOD’S Image, and is encouraged to be the boy that GOD Created him to be for a long enough period of time by his same-sex parent/authority figures and later his same-sex peers, then guess what? He thinks of himself as a boy made in GOD’S Image. Not inferior/superior to other boys nor superior/inferior to girls.

Many girls are unfortunately called a “tom-boy” when, according to PAPA’S Word, the girl is a girl who has been gifted athletically. Or, for short, she’s an athletic girl.

The good news is that when a girl is called a girl in a positive manner, is affirmed as a girl Created in GOD’S Image, and is encouraged to be the girl that GOD Created her to be for a long enough period of time by her same-sex parent/authority figures and later her same-sex peers, then guess what? She thinks of herself as a girl made in GOD’S Image. Not inferior/superior to other girls nor superior/inferior to boys.

In other words—when a boy feels like he’s “one of the boys” and a girl feels like she’s “one of the girls” for a long enough period of time, then those feelings become beliefs. These beliefs, because they’re in alignment with PAPA’S Word, help a person mature relationally as He Designed. (Maturity will need to be another blog—I’m sticking to just one focus!)

PAPA’S Blessings on each of every one of you, Dear Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee!

\/ 🙂

___________________________________________________________

(For the record, please know that the above post is a GREAT SIMPLIFICATION of the complexity of how a person learns to perceive himself or herself as a boy or a girl. This is, after all, only a short blog on suggesting the change of language. Thanks for reading!)

___________________________________________________________

I am thinking and/or acting like a Pharisee if . . .

PAPA,

I’ve been pondering for some time on what a Pharisee really is & I just finished reading the last half of Matthew 22. These are some of my thoughts . . .

____________

I am thinking and/or acting like a Pharisee if . . .

1. I don’t think I need JESUS in every area of my life.

2. I believe I can work my way into right standing with GOD.

3. I tithe “perfectly,” but do not give generously or self-sacrificially or with a joyful heart.

4. I recognize other people’s sins, but not my own sin.

5. I recognize my own sin, but think other people’s sins are worse or bigger.

6. I refuse to humble myself before The LORD; meaning, I refuse to admit I am sick & in desperate need of Him–every moment of every day.

7. I realize I’m sick, but think I’m not as sick as other people.

8. I focus on “image-management,” rather than loving The LORD with all my heart, soul, mind, & strength.

 9. I focus on “not getting dirty,” rather than going into the trenches & loving others as I love myself.

10. I look for “loopholes” (or an “easier, softer way”), rather than obeying KING JESUS.

11. I attempt to find flaws in JESUS’ Character.

12. I think, speak, & act in such a way that communicates I believe that I don’t desperately need daily intimacy with KING JESUS–that’s just for “weak”people.

13. I place obstacles in front of others who are seeking JESUS.

14. I call good, evil, and evil, good.

15. I want JESUS & His Word (both past Written & current Verbal) to “go away” & leave me alone with my sin.

____________

Well, PAPA, I am sometimes thinking, talking, &/or behaving like a Pharisee–ouch!

I’m sorry for the times I’ve thought, talked, & behaved like a Pharisee. Please forgive me. Thank You for Forgiving me! And thank You for doing whatever it takes to soften my heart towards You, Your Word, & Your Will in every area of my life–no matter what it takes!

I love you, PAPA!!! Thank You for Loving me FIRST!!!

And Readers, thank YOU for reading & letting me share!

Warrior Princess Melanee!
\/ 🙂

Matthew 11:6 “And Blessed Is He Who Is Not Offended Because Of KING JESUS.”

PAPA taught me an extremely important Truth-lesson through Pastor Roshad Thomas from Calvary Chapel Tallahassee a number of years ago. That Truth-lesson became my life verse — Matthew 11:6.

I’ll make this short — go read Matthew 11:6. Then read the context surrounding that one verse.

Then, read (below) how KING JESUS Spoke to me personally (using Pastor Roshad’s words, but translated to fit my personal life):

KING JESUS: “Melanee, can you be okay with suffering from obeying Me? Can you?

“Can you be okay with others misunderstanding you and not defending yourself? Can you?

“Can you be okay with your having sinned against others (or at least hurting them greatly) and then their deciding to separate themselves from you? Can you be okay with that?

“Can you?

“Can you be okay with My being GOD, while simultaneously NOT rescuing you from the fallen earth and it’s fallen people? Can you?”

Me: “Only. By. Your. Strength.” [major loud groan from me to PAPA]

KING JESUS: “Good, Sweeteepie, because blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.” [big hug from PAPA to me]

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