Posts Tagged With: HOLY SPIRIT!

 
 

CR Testimony (plus!) — 1 JUN 2018

 

It’s READY!!! My prayer is for PAPA to use this video of my 1 JUN 2018 CR testimony (plus a “bibliography,” as well as two “addendum” videos!) toΒ Radically & Powerfully TRANSFORM people’s lives! HalleluYAH!!!
SHALOM!

Categories: Abuse and Neglect, Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, Boundaries & Choices, Celebrate Recovery / CR, FREEDOM!, KING YESHUA!, Testimonies | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Confessions Of A Rebellious Flosser

Yo, Readers!!!

I’d like to share a little story that might seem to have nothing to do with brushing and flossing my teeth at night, but stick with me and I think PAPA will radically bless your heart!

In KING YESHUA’S Great Love!

Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
\o/ πŸ™‚
_______

I no longer have sexualized same-sex attractions — thank You, PAPA!!
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Yet…they did not go away by attempting to make-them-go-away — does that make sense?

Actually, I did initially pursue “making them go away,” but fortunately, PAPA had introduced me to Pamela Vest Valentine, a wise, Spirit-filled therapist who let me know that to do so, would just be a Band-Aid. She was a “client-centered” therapist, so she was willing to go that route if that’s what I really wanted, but she also told me that it would not deal with what actually needed to be dealt with — the roots.

The real problems, she said were **not** my homosexual feelings. Rather, she said that my problem was the same problem everyone has:

1. My (mis)perceptions of GOD,
2. My (mis)perceptions of myself, and
3. My (mis)perceptions of GOD and me together.

I immediately asked (it was closer to a demanding growl), “What am I supposed to do with all these other people around me??!!!”

Her eyes were compassionate, while her tone was firmly serious when she replied, “Nothing. You are to do absolutely nothing with other people until you have dealt with the first three areas — enough. And only GOD knows when enough-is-enough.”

She gently continued, “Melanee, you make people your gods…”

OUCH!!!!!!!

(Think, a hard punch to my abdomen, knocking the air out of me — maybe a hard jab to the face, too! And believe me when I say, I wanted to verbally punch her lights out!!)
πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

What PAPA Told me that day through my therapist was this:

If I keep The-Main-Thing-The-Main-Thing…

— My focus being on KING YESHUA and no one else, following Him wherever He leads me; obeying Him (eventually!) in everything He calls me to do; resting IN Him; crying on His Shoulder; letting Him Comfort my hurting, fearful heart; running to Him when others have hurt my feelings; repenting when I disobey Him; accepting His Forgiveness (particularly in visualizing His Cleansing, Healing and Strengthening, Maturing of ALL of me — spirit, soul, body); and much, much more —

…then my ENTIRE life changes!!

HalleluYAH!!!!!!!
WOOHOO!!!!!!!
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A bonus was that my sexualized same-sex attractions dissipated and now…I only have GOD-Given same-sex attractions and opposite-sex attractions like PAPA originally designed each person to have!!!

You might be thinking, “When is she ever going to talk about the hot topic of brushing and flossing?!”

I’m getting there!
πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

The “stuff” I battle today is just as sinful. And any one of them can become destructive strongholds, just like the homosexuality, pornography, and masturbation used to be.

If you’re thinking, “Wow! What could be just as ‘bad’ as sexual sin?” then you’re caught in the same trap that I sometimes get caught in, as well.

Sin — all sin — is destructive, because I’m disconnecting myself from being intimately connected to PAPA.

Okay, I won’t keep you in suspense anymore!
😜😜😜

I currently struggle against obeying PAPA in four (out of five) areas He’s Told me to do.

He’s Called me to:
Speak and Write (that’s actually two things together as one), and He’s Told me to Exercise, Eat, Brush my teeth, and Floss my teeth, EVERY day.

Every. Single. Day.
No. Matter. How. Tired. I. Am!!!

And other than eating, most days I fail MISERABLY in the other four categories. Yes, I said most days.

(FYI — eating actually means eating healthy and taking my meds and supplements.)

Well…since I celebrate the Sabbath from Friday evening to Saturday evening, I get a little break, because I only need to eat, brush, and floss during that timeframe!
πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜œπŸ˜œπŸ˜œ

There ya go! Those are the things that are currently embarrassing me when I’m not obedient. I “tell on myself” to my Sponsor and other accountability folks on whether I’m obeying PAPA or not. And if it starts getting REALLY out of hand, I call my therapist!
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In other words, I still have DAILY battles that I can get focused on, ashamed about, worried about, and ask questions like, “Will this EVER change?” or “Will I EVER want to obey DADDY every night about brushing and flossing my teeth???!!!” or “Will I EVER really write what PAPA Wants me to write?” or “Am I EVER going to exercise regularly regardless of the pain?”

You get the picture — and I am not exaggerating!

I really feel those things, think those things, and experience those things.

I can even think SO insanely that I start believing that my value is determined by whether or not I’m obeying PAPA…oh, my…

Another way to phrase that would be a slight variation on what my therapist said back in 1995. Instead of making other people my gods, I’m making my struggles my gods, my obedience my gods, and I can even make my disobedience my gods! Yikes!!!

Something one of my long-distance mentors, Bob Hamp, says goes something like this, “Whenever I make anything other than PAPA my GOD, then I’m plugging into the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, rather than The Tree of Life — KING YESHUA Himself!”

Talk about knowledge becoming a set-up for misery — yikes!!

So, Precious Readers, I share all this to hopefully communicate to you the absolute importance of you “plugging into” PAPA, seeking and pursuing His KINGdom and His Righteousness, rather than change.

I hope you hear me loud-and-clear — I’m *not* accusing you of pursuing change — some of you I’ve never even personally met! I’m just sharing with you how easy it is to get sidetracked off of The Main Thing.

And guess what?! I just fulfilled my writing requirement for the day, too! LOL!!! WOOHOO!!!
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Thanks for letting me share!

And REMEMBER: You’re worth it, because PAPA says so!
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Categories: Counseling, FREEDOM!, KING YESHUA!, Testimonies | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

PAPA Moves People OUT OF And INTO

Hey there, Dear Reader!

Below is what I’m pondering on — I hope it helps you to more deeply trust The One Who Created YOU!

😊😊😊❀️❀️❀️

I don’t know how PAPA does it, but throughout Scripture (and throughout the lives of people who have followed Him whose names are not in The Bible), there is a definite pattern of PAPA taking a person OUT OF some place or thing and moving him/her INTO a new place or thing. (‘Thing’ is not very descriptive, but in this case, it comes in real handy to encompass a multitude of words: birth, death, education, projects, jobs, behaviors, attitudes, feelings, sin, faith, fear, danger, mystery, comfort, security, suffering, just to name a few.)

Take for example Genesis 15 where PAPA is talking to Abram about some changes that are going to occur. Specifically, PAPA is telling Abram that He is going to move him OUT OF childlessness and INTO not only having an heir, but so many descendants that they will not be able to be counted! WOOHOO!
πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

This is just a little side note — as a gal with a southern accent, I love reading the word ‘reckon’ in The Bible — and it’s not just in the King James Version, either!Β In verse 6 of Genesis 15 it reads, “Then he [Abram] believed in Adonai and He [Adonai] reckoned it to him [Abram] as righteousness.”Β That’s out of the Tree of Life Version (TLV)!
😊😊😊❀️❀️❀️

Back on track, now…

Not only does PAPA move people out of painful things and into pleasant things (as He did with Abram), He also moves people out of what we might call positive things into negative things.

For example, the Hebrews were moved OUT OF freedom and INTO enslavement by the Egyptians. For a really LONG time, too! That would be a good example of people being disciplined by PAPA because of their rebellion, but — and this is a crucial ‘but’ —Β moving from the pleasant to the painful is not always a matter of correction or the need for repentance.

Just take a look at KING YESHUA’S Life. His going to The Cross was much more painful than discipling His Followers — regardless of how contrary they might behave! There was obviously no need for repentance on His part, so if there was no need for correction, why that particular directional movement? Because there was a relational need that could only be met by His going from the pleasant to the painful.

The relationalΒ need I’m referring to encompassed moving us OUT OF the painful eternal separation from PAPA and INTO His Blessed Presence — and ALL for His Glory!!! HalleluYAH!!! The correction of our hell-bent directional movement was accomplished through KING YESHUA’SΒ Life, Suffering, Crucifixion, Resurrection, and Ascension.

Of course, PAPA has given each and every one of us the choice to choose either Him or hell, but because of His Goodness, He will do whatever it takes to directionally move us towards Him. And it will be for our benefit and ALL for His Glory!

Regardless of the directional movements that occur in our lives, everything always boils down to the same question PAPA asks every single one of us:

“Are you going to trust Me with every area of your life — no matter how painful or pleasant?”

So, Dear Reader,

What areas of your life are you experiencing PAPA moving you OUT OF something familiar and INTO something unfamiliar? It may be from the painful to the pleasant or the reverse of that, but the question remains the same:

Are you going to trust PAPA no matter what it costs you? And am I?

The good news is this — we’re not in this alone! HalleluYAH! PAPA is here, His Written Word is here, His people are here, and all of His creation, too! HalleluYAH!

So, as PAPA moves you and me through His RUACH HaKODESH (HOLY SPIRIT), let us join our Shields of Faith together and follow The One and Only One Who is completely Trustworthy — KING YESHUA!

OORAH!!!

PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours, Dear Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
\o/ πŸ™‚

Categories: HIS Great Love!, KING YESHUA!, Matters of FAITH: Eternal Life or Eternal Death | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

2-Minute CR Testimony!

Hey there, Readers!

Below is my 2-minute testimony that I shared at Celebrate Recovery for our 11th Anniversary Party on FRI 9 JAN 2015! May PAPA use the following words to enCOURAGE you to NEVER give up!!!

In HIS Great Love!
Beautiful Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
+
\o/
_______________

Hey there, CR Family!

I’m one of KING JESUS’ Warrior Princesses and my name is Melanee!

And that’s Melanee with 2 EEs on the end!
πŸ˜ƒ

I’m gonna share my 2-minute testimony in 3 “segments”:

1. Before Recovery,
2. After Recovery, and
3. After CR!

1. BEFORE RECOVERY

I survived over 13 years of sexual abuse by dissociating; I hated being a girl and viewed myself as a boy.

I lived in constant fear of men, was addicted to porn, and because of my homosexual feelings, I eventually told GOD that I was a lesbian. I lived with a lesbian identity for over 16 years.

I often lied and manipulated whenever I was afraid — which was often.

2. AFTER RECOVERY

I started REAL Recovery with a Christian therapist on 1 SEP 1995. I worked on the core wounds from the sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect and JESUS Performed many miracles! I began to no longer view myself as a boy and was beginning to LOVE being a girl!!
😊

As PAPA Cleansed and Healed my heart from the sexual abuse, my fear of men began to diminish and my use of porn and masturbation decreased. KING YESHUA transformed my view of myself from being a tough dyke to being HIS Beautiful Strong Tender Warrior Princess!!! OORAH!!
😊

HOLY SPIRIT was Teaching me why I was fearful and HE Showed me I could choose to stop attempting to control people-places-things by listening to HIM instead of my fears.
😊

3. AFTER CR

By the time I arrived at the very first meeting of Celebrate Recovery in 2003, I was no longer having any sexual abuse flashbacks and, through PAPA’S Great Love, I had forgiven the 4 perpetrators — HalleluYAH!!!
😊

KING YESHUA used (and still uses) numerous male leaders from CR to continue to diminish my fear of men and HE has repeatedly used the women of CR to let me know that I am TRULY “one-of-the-girls”!
😊

In 2012, HOLY SPIRIT revealed how I was sometimes still lying and it had to do with talking out of fear. Ever since I started sharing about it at CR, my fear-based talking has significantly decreased!!!

And currently…I get to work on STOPPING being lazy!!!
😊

In closing, I enCOURAGE all the newcomers and the oldtimers to NEVER EVER give up!!!

Thanks for letting me share!!!
😊

Categories: Abuse and Neglect, Celebrate Recovery / CR, FREEDOM!, HIS Great Love!, KING JESUS! | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Paragraph Word Of My Testimony!!! (19 Year Anniversary!!)

I grew up in a family where I was sexually, physically, emotionally abused and neglected for over 13 years. I not only hated the 3 men and 1 woman who sexually used me, but I also hated myself – especially my body, because it betrayed me by responding to the sexual stimulations.

There were many unhealthy ways I attempted to deal with the trauma and pain from the sexual abuse, but they were the only coping mechanisms I knew. At a very young age, I was introduced to pornographic magazines, and later found an X-rated novel in the house – what I refer to as β€œwritten” pornography. I don’t remember when I first masturbated, but by the time I was 13 years old, I was hooked on masturbation – and devastated by the shame I felt afterwards.

Because of the abuse and neglect, it’s understandable that I wanted to be rescued out of my situation. The way I experienced wanting to be rescued was through emotionally intense romantic feelings for girls. When puberty hit, I also had strong sexual feelings for girls and women. By age 17, I β€œdecided” that I was a lesbian. I simultaneously decided that The Bible was a bunch of lies and that GOD didn’t exist.

That, by the way, is the coping mechanism called DENIAL.

The mechanism I used from the earliest sexual abuse was dissociation. It was one of the reasons I survived hundreds of sexual violations. Dissociation is a big word for what The Bible describes as β€œbrokenhearted” in Isaiah 61:1 and KING YESHUA quotes in Luke:

β€œThe Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed.” — Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

A clearer visual of brokenhearted is a shattered heart, much like glass shattering to pieces when it hits the ground. Even though I didn’t know how deeply broken and wounded I was, PAPA knew; so He allowed me to experience the natural consequences of living in rebellion to Him, until I finally got sick-and-tired of being sick-and-tired.

The prayer I prayed was this: β€œGOD, I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be. I don’t know if that means I’ll be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or asexual, but I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be.”

HOLY SPIRIT took that prayer and RAN WITH IT!

On 1 SEP 2014, it will be 19 years since fully surrendering to PAPA’S Authority over every area of my life – emotionally, mentally, relationally, and sexually. Physical health and financial recovery began years later and though I’m still physically ill with Lyme, Babesia, and Bartonella, KING YESHUA is still on His Throne and I’m still His Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Daughter! That’s all that matters! OORAH! πŸ™‚

On 23 DEC 2014, it will be 29 years since I surrendered my heart and life to JESUS! I was born-again that MON morning around 1000 and I’ve NEVER received a greater or more priceless gift! HalleluYAH!!! πŸ™‚

KING YESHUA has used Himself, His Written Word, His People (two Christian therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), CHRIST-Centered Family Reconstruction, Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person), and HIS Creation to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.

Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. He Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades. I now FEEL emotions like KING YESHUA Created me to feel and because of His Faithfulness, I know how to manage my emotions, too!

Since PAPA has Taught me what to do when I’m anxious, I no longer use pornography, masturbation, or sexual fantasies. Before recovery, I only had WALLS and no boundaries. I was walled-off from PAPA, myself, and others. Not any more! KING JESUS and I together tore down the isolating walls (HalleluYAH!!!), and He Taught me what healthy boundaries are and how to enforce them in loving, respectful ways. (Actually, I’m still learning!!) I’m also learning how to **not** talk out of fear or be silent out of fear.

The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because He Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to His Authority in every area of my life. He still asks me the same thing He asked me in 1995, β€œAre you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

Categories: Abuse and Neglect, Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, Fruits of Repentance, Growing Up, HIS Great Love!, KING JESUS!, Matters of FAITH: Eternal Life or Eternal Death, Sin, Testimonies | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

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