Posts Tagged With: HOLY SPIRIT!

 
 

CR Testimony (plus!) — 1 JUN 2018

 

It’s READY!!! My prayer is for PAPA to use this video of my 1 JUN 2018 CR testimony (plus a “bibliography,” as well as two “addendum” videos!) to Radically & Powerfully TRANSFORM people’s lives! HalleluYAH!!!
SHALOM!

Categories: Abuse and Neglect, Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, Boundaries & Choices, Celebrate Recovery / CR, FREEDOM!, KING YESHUA!, Testimonies | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Confessions Of A Rebellious Flosser

Yo, Readers!!!

I’d like to share a little story that might seem to have nothing to do with brushing and flossing my teeth at night, but stick with me and I think PAPA will radically bless your heart!

In KING YESHUA’S Great Love!

Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
\o/ 🙂
_______

I no longer have sexualized same-sex attractions — thank You, PAPA!!
😃😃😃😘😘😘

Yet…they did not go away by attempting to make-them-go-away — does that make sense?

Actually, I did initially pursue “making them go away,” but fortunately, PAPA had introduced me to Pamela Vest Valentine, a wise, Spirit-filled therapist who let me know that to do so, would just be a Band-Aid. She was a “client-centered” therapist, so she was willing to go that route if that’s what I really wanted, but she also told me that it would not deal with what actually needed to be dealt with — the roots.

The real problems, she said were **not** my homosexual feelings. Rather, she said that my problem was the same problem everyone has:

1. My (mis)perceptions of GOD,
2. My (mis)perceptions of myself, and
3. My (mis)perceptions of GOD and me together.

I immediately asked (it was closer to a demanding growl), “What am I supposed to do with all these other people around me??!!!”

Her eyes were compassionate, while her tone was firmly serious when she replied, “Nothing. You are to do absolutely nothing with other people until you have dealt with the first three areas — enough. And only GOD knows when enough-is-enough.”

She gently continued, “Melanee, you make people your gods…”

OUCH!!!!!!!

(Think, a hard punch to my abdomen, knocking the air out of me — maybe a hard jab to the face, too! And believe me when I say, I wanted to verbally punch her lights out!!)
💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪

What PAPA Told me that day through my therapist was this:

If I keep The-Main-Thing-The-Main-Thing…

— My focus being on KING YESHUA and no one else, following Him wherever He leads me; obeying Him (eventually!) in everything He calls me to do; resting IN Him; crying on His Shoulder; letting Him Comfort my hurting, fearful heart; running to Him when others have hurt my feelings; repenting when I disobey Him; accepting His Forgiveness (particularly in visualizing His Cleansing, Healing and Strengthening, Maturing of ALL of me — spirit, soul, body); and much, much more —

…then my ENTIRE life changes!!

HalleluYAH!!!!!!!
WOOHOO!!!!!!!
😃😃😃❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘

A bonus was that my sexualized same-sex attractions dissipated and now…I only have GOD-Given same-sex attractions and opposite-sex attractions like PAPA originally designed each person to have!!!

You might be thinking, “When is she ever going to talk about the hot topic of brushing and flossing?!”

I’m getting there!
😃😃

The “stuff” I battle today is just as sinful. And any one of them can become destructive strongholds, just like the homosexuality, pornography, and masturbation used to be.

If you’re thinking, “Wow! What could be just as ‘bad’ as sexual sin?” then you’re caught in the same trap that I sometimes get caught in, as well.

Sin — all sin — is destructive, because I’m disconnecting myself from being intimately connected to PAPA.

Okay, I won’t keep you in suspense anymore!
😜😜😜

I currently struggle against obeying PAPA in four (out of five) areas He’s Told me to do.

He’s Called me to:
Speak and Write (that’s actually two things together as one), and He’s Told me to Exercise, Eat, Brush my teeth, and Floss my teeth, EVERY day.

Every. Single. Day.
No. Matter. How. Tired. I. Am!!!

And other than eating, most days I fail MISERABLY in the other four categories. Yes, I said most days.

(FYI — eating actually means eating healthy and taking my meds and supplements.)

Well…since I celebrate the Sabbath from Friday evening to Saturday evening, I get a little break, because I only need to eat, brush, and floss during that timeframe!
😃😃😃😜😜😜

There ya go! Those are the things that are currently embarrassing me when I’m not obedient. I “tell on myself” to my Sponsor and other accountability folks on whether I’m obeying PAPA or not. And if it starts getting REALLY out of hand, I call my therapist!
😃😃😃😃☎️☎️📞📞

In other words, I still have DAILY battles that I can get focused on, ashamed about, worried about, and ask questions like, “Will this EVER change?” or “Will I EVER want to obey DADDY every night about brushing and flossing my teeth???!!!” or “Will I EVER really write what PAPA Wants me to write?” or “Am I EVER going to exercise regularly regardless of the pain?”

You get the picture — and I am not exaggerating!

I really feel those things, think those things, and experience those things.

I can even think SO insanely that I start believing that my value is determined by whether or not I’m obeying PAPA…oh, my…

Another way to phrase that would be a slight variation on what my therapist said back in 1995. Instead of making other people my gods, I’m making my struggles my gods, my obedience my gods, and I can even make my disobedience my gods! Yikes!!!

Something one of my long-distance mentors, Bob Hamp, says goes something like this, “Whenever I make anything other than PAPA my GOD, then I’m plugging into the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, rather than The Tree of Life — KING YESHUA Himself!”

Talk about knowledge becoming a set-up for misery — yikes!!

So, Precious Readers, I share all this to hopefully communicate to you the absolute importance of you “plugging into” PAPA, seeking and pursuing His KINGdom and His Righteousness, rather than change.

I hope you hear me loud-and-clear — I’m *not* accusing you of pursuing change — some of you I’ve never even personally met! I’m just sharing with you how easy it is to get sidetracked off of The Main Thing.

And guess what?! I just fulfilled my writing requirement for the day, too! LOL!!! WOOHOO!!!
😃😃😃✏️✏️✏️👍👍👍

Thanks for letting me share!

And REMEMBER: You’re worth it, because PAPA says so!
😃😃😃❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘
👍👍👍👍👣👣👣👣

Categories: Counseling, FREEDOM!, KING YESHUA!, Testimonies | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

PAPA Moves People OUT OF And INTO

Hey there, Dear Reader!

Below is what I’m pondering on — I hope it helps you to more deeply trust The One Who Created YOU!

😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️

I don’t know how PAPA does it, but throughout Scripture (and throughout the lives of people who have followed Him whose names are not in The Bible), there is a definite pattern of PAPA taking a person OUT OF some place or thing and moving him/her INTO a new place or thing. (‘Thing’ is not very descriptive, but in this case, it comes in real handy to encompass a multitude of words: birth, death, education, projects, jobs, behaviors, attitudes, feelings, sin, faith, fear, danger, mystery, comfort, security, suffering, just to name a few.)

Take for example Genesis 15 where PAPA is talking to Abram about some changes that are going to occur. Specifically, PAPA is telling Abram that He is going to move him OUT OF childlessness and INTO not only having an heir, but so many descendants that they will not be able to be counted! WOOHOO!
😃😃😃

This is just a little side note — as a gal with a southern accent, I love reading the word ‘reckon’ in The Bible — and it’s not just in the King James Version, either! In verse 6 of Genesis 15 it reads, “Then he [Abram] believed in Adonai and He [Adonai] reckoned it to him [Abram] as righteousness.” That’s out of the Tree of Life Version (TLV)!
😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️

Back on track, now…

Not only does PAPA move people out of painful things and into pleasant things (as He did with Abram), He also moves people out of what we might call positive things into negative things.

For example, the Hebrews were moved OUT OF freedom and INTO enslavement by the Egyptians. For a really LONG time, too! That would be a good example of people being disciplined by PAPA because of their rebellion, but — and this is a crucial ‘but’ — moving from the pleasant to the painful is not always a matter of correction or the need for repentance.

Just take a look at KING YESHUA’S Life. His going to The Cross was much more painful than discipling His Followers — regardless of how contrary they might behave! There was obviously no need for repentance on His part, so if there was no need for correction, why that particular directional movement? Because there was a relational need that could only be met by His going from the pleasant to the painful.

The relational need I’m referring to encompassed moving us OUT OF the painful eternal separation from PAPA and INTO His Blessed Presence — and ALL for His Glory!!! HalleluYAH!!! The correction of our hell-bent directional movement was accomplished through KING YESHUA’S Life, Suffering, Crucifixion, Resurrection, and Ascension.

Of course, PAPA has given each and every one of us the choice to choose either Him or hell, but because of His Goodness, He will do whatever it takes to directionally move us towards Him. And it will be for our benefit and ALL for His Glory!

Regardless of the directional movements that occur in our lives, everything always boils down to the same question PAPA asks every single one of us:

“Are you going to trust Me with every area of your life — no matter how painful or pleasant?”

So, Dear Reader,

What areas of your life are you experiencing PAPA moving you OUT OF something familiar and INTO something unfamiliar? It may be from the painful to the pleasant or the reverse of that, but the question remains the same:

Are you going to trust PAPA no matter what it costs you? And am I?

The good news is this — we’re not in this alone! HalleluYAH! PAPA is here, His Written Word is here, His people are here, and all of His creation, too! HalleluYAH!

So, as PAPA moves you and me through His RUACH HaKODESH (HOLY SPIRIT), let us join our Shields of Faith together and follow The One and Only One Who is completely Trustworthy — KING YESHUA!

OORAH!!!

PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours, Dear Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
\o/ 🙂

Categories: HIS Great Love!, KING YESHUA!, Matters of FAITH: Eternal Life or Eternal Death | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

2-Minute CR Testimony!

Hey there, Readers!

Below is my 2-minute testimony that I shared at Celebrate Recovery for our 11th Anniversary Party on FRI 9 JAN 2015! May PAPA use the following words to enCOURAGE you to NEVER give up!!!

In HIS Great Love!
Beautiful Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
+
\o/
_______________

Hey there, CR Family!

I’m one of KING JESUS’ Warrior Princesses and my name is Melanee!

And that’s Melanee with 2 EEs on the end!
😃

I’m gonna share my 2-minute testimony in 3 “segments”:

1. Before Recovery,
2. After Recovery, and
3. After CR!

1. BEFORE RECOVERY

I survived over 13 years of sexual abuse by dissociating; I hated being a girl and viewed myself as a boy.

I lived in constant fear of men, was addicted to porn, and because of my homosexual feelings, I eventually told GOD that I was a lesbian. I lived with a lesbian identity for over 16 years.

I often lied and manipulated whenever I was afraid — which was often.

2. AFTER RECOVERY

I started REAL Recovery with a Christian therapist on 1 SEP 1995. I worked on the core wounds from the sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect and JESUS Performed many miracles! I began to no longer view myself as a boy and was beginning to LOVE being a girl!!
😊

As PAPA Cleansed and Healed my heart from the sexual abuse, my fear of men began to diminish and my use of porn and masturbation decreased. KING YESHUA transformed my view of myself from being a tough dyke to being HIS Beautiful Strong Tender Warrior Princess!!! OORAH!!
😊

HOLY SPIRIT was Teaching me why I was fearful and HE Showed me I could choose to stop attempting to control people-places-things by listening to HIM instead of my fears.
😊

3. AFTER CR

By the time I arrived at the very first meeting of Celebrate Recovery in 2003, I was no longer having any sexual abuse flashbacks and, through PAPA’S Great Love, I had forgiven the 4 perpetrators — HalleluYAH!!!
😊

KING YESHUA used (and still uses) numerous male leaders from CR to continue to diminish my fear of men and HE has repeatedly used the women of CR to let me know that I am TRULY “one-of-the-girls”!
😊

In 2012, HOLY SPIRIT revealed how I was sometimes still lying and it had to do with talking out of fear. Ever since I started sharing about it at CR, my fear-based talking has significantly decreased!!!

And currently…I get to work on STOPPING being lazy!!!
😊

In closing, I enCOURAGE all the newcomers and the oldtimers to NEVER EVER give up!!!

Thanks for letting me share!!!
😊

Categories: Abuse and Neglect, Celebrate Recovery / CR, FREEDOM!, HIS Great Love!, KING JESUS! | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Paragraph Word Of My Testimony!!! (19 Year Anniversary!!)

I grew up in a family where I was sexually, physically, emotionally abused and neglected for over 13 years. I not only hated the 3 men and 1 woman who sexually used me, but I also hated myself – especially my body, because it betrayed me by responding to the sexual stimulations.

There were many unhealthy ways I attempted to deal with the trauma and pain from the sexual abuse, but they were the only coping mechanisms I knew. At a very young age, I was introduced to pornographic magazines, and later found an X-rated novel in the house – what I refer to as “written” pornography. I don’t remember when I first masturbated, but by the time I was 13 years old, I was hooked on masturbation – and devastated by the shame I felt afterwards.

Because of the abuse and neglect, it’s understandable that I wanted to be rescued out of my situation. The way I experienced wanting to be rescued was through emotionally intense romantic feelings for girls. When puberty hit, I also had strong sexual feelings for girls and women. By age 17, I “decided” that I was a lesbian. I simultaneously decided that The Bible was a bunch of lies and that GOD didn’t exist.

That, by the way, is the coping mechanism called DENIAL.

The mechanism I used from the earliest sexual abuse was dissociation. It was one of the reasons I survived hundreds of sexual violations. Dissociation is a big word for what The Bible describes as “brokenhearted” in Isaiah 61:1 and KING YESHUA quotes in Luke:

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed.” — Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

A clearer visual of brokenhearted is a shattered heart, much like glass shattering to pieces when it hits the ground. Even though I didn’t know how deeply broken and wounded I was, PAPA knew; so He allowed me to experience the natural consequences of living in rebellion to Him, until I finally got sick-and-tired of being sick-and-tired.

The prayer I prayed was this: “GOD, I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be. I don’t know if that means I’ll be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or asexual, but I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be.”

HOLY SPIRIT took that prayer and RAN WITH IT!

On 1 SEP 2014, it will be 19 years since fully surrendering to PAPA’S Authority over every area of my life – emotionally, mentally, relationally, and sexually. Physical health and financial recovery began years later and though I’m still physically ill with Lyme, Babesia, and Bartonella, KING YESHUA is still on His Throne and I’m still His Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Daughter! That’s all that matters! OORAH! 🙂

On 23 DEC 2014, it will be 29 years since I surrendered my heart and life to JESUS! I was born-again that MON morning around 1000 and I’ve NEVER received a greater or more priceless gift! HalleluYAH!!! 🙂

KING YESHUA has used Himself, His Written Word, His People (two Christian therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), CHRIST-Centered Family Reconstruction, Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person), and HIS Creation to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.

Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. He Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades. I now FEEL emotions like KING YESHUA Created me to feel and because of His Faithfulness, I know how to manage my emotions, too!

Since PAPA has Taught me what to do when I’m anxious, I no longer use pornography, masturbation, or sexual fantasies. Before recovery, I only had WALLS and no boundaries. I was walled-off from PAPA, myself, and others. Not any more! KING JESUS and I together tore down the isolating walls (HalleluYAH!!!), and He Taught me what healthy boundaries are and how to enforce them in loving, respectful ways. (Actually, I’m still learning!!) I’m also learning how to **not** talk out of fear or be silent out of fear.

The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because He Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to His Authority in every area of my life. He still asks me the same thing He asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

Categories: Abuse and Neglect, Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, Fruits of Repentance, Growing Up, HIS Great Love!, KING JESUS!, Matters of FAITH: Eternal Life or Eternal Death, Sin, Testimonies | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Bulleted Word Of My Testimony! (19 Year Anniversary!!)

• I survived over 13 years of childhood sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect.

• I dissociated in order to survive the abuse and was consumed with hatred and anger towards GOD and men, as well as self-hatred for over 30 years.

• I experienced homosexual feelings for over 30 years and lived as a lesbian for over 15 years (7 of those years as a Christian).

• I used pornography, masturbation, and sexual fantasies as coping mechanisms for many years.

• That all began to change when I fully surrendered my authority to GOD’S Authority on 1 SEP 1995.

• KING YESHUA has used Himself, His Written Word, two Christian therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), CHRIST-Centered Family Reconstruction, Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, and HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person, to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.

• Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. He Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades.

• The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because He Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to His Authority in every area of my life. He still asks me the same thing He asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

Categories: Abuse and Neglect, Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, Fruits of Repentance, Growing Up, HIS Great Love!, KING JESUS!, Matters of FAITH: Eternal Life or Eternal Death, Sin, Testimonies | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Word Of My Testimony (Bulleted & 5-Minute Version)

Hello there, Readers!

Below are two versions of what Revelation 12:11 calls “the word of my testimony.” The first is a bulleted list and the second is a 5-minute testimony (approximately), if read out loud. I ask PAPA to do whatever it takes to soften your heart (and my heart!) towards Him, His Word, and His Will in every area of your life (and my life!) — no matter what it costs!

PAPA’S Blessings on you all!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
+
\o/
—————————

BULLETED VERSION:

• I survived over 13 years of childhood sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect.
• I dissociated in order to survive the abuse and was consumed with hatred and anger towards GOD and men, as well as self-hatred for over 30 years.
• I experienced homosexual feelings for over 30 years and lived as a lesbian for over 15 years (7 of those years as a Christian).
• I used pornography, masturbation, and sexual fantasies as coping mechanisms for many years.
• That all began to change when I fully surrendered my authority to GOD’S Authority on 1 SEP 1995.
• KING YESHUA has used Himself, His Written Word, two Christian therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), CHRIST-Centered Family Reconstruction, Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, and HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person, to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.
• Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. He Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades.
• The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because He Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to His Authority in every area of my life. He still asks me the same thing He asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

PARAGRAPH VERSION:
I grew up in a family where I was sexually, physically, emotionally abused and neglected for over 13 years. I not only hated the 3 men and 1 woman who sexually used me, but I also hated myself – especially my body, because it betrayed me by responding to the sexual stimulations.

There were many unhealthy ways I attempted to deal with the trauma and pain from the sexual abuse, but they were the only coping mechanisms I knew. At a very young age, I was introduced to pornographic magazines, and later found an X-rated novel in the house – what I refer to as “written” pornography. I don’t remember when I first masturbated, but by the time I was 13 years old, I was hooked on masturbation – and devastated by the shame I felt afterwards.

Because of the abuse and neglect, it’s understandable that I wanted to be rescued out of my situation. The way I experienced wanting to be rescued was through emotionally intense romantic feelings for girls. When puberty hit, I also had strong sexual feelings for girls and women. By age 17, I “decided” that I was a lesbian. I simultaneously decided that The Bible was a bunch of lies and that GOD didn’t exist.

That, by the way, is the coping mechanism called DENIAL.

The mechanism I used from the earliest sexual abuse was dissociation. It was one of the reasons I survived hundreds of sexual violations. Dissociation is a big word for what The Bible describes as “brokenhearted” in Isaiah 61:1 and KING YESHUA quotes in Luke:

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed.”
— Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

A clearer visual of brokenhearted is a shattered heart, much like glass shattering to pieces when it hits the ground. Even though I didn’t know how deeply broken and wounded I was, PAPA knew; so He allowed me to experience the natural consequences of living in rebellion to Him, until I finally got sick-and-tired of being sick-and-tired.

The prayer I prayed was this: “GOD, I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be. I don’t know if that means I’ll be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or asexual, but I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be.”

HOLY SPIRIT took that prayer and RAN WITH IT!

On 1 SEP 2014, it will be 19 years since fully surrendering to PAPA’S Authority over every area of my life – emotionally, mentally, relationally, and sexually. Physical health and financial recovery began years later and though I’m still physically ill with Lyme, Babesia, and Bartonella, KING YESHUA is still on His Throne and I’m still His Beautiful Brave Beloved Warrior Princess Daughter! That’s all that matters! OORAH! 🙂

On 23 DEC 2014, it will be 29 years since I surrendered my heart and life to JESUS! I was born-again that MON morning around 1000 and I’ve NEVER received a greater or more priceless gift! HalleluYAH!!! 🙂

KING YESHUA has used Himself, His Written Word, His People (two Christian therapists, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), CHRIST-Centered Family Reconstruction, Celebrate Recovery (CR), two church families, an Adopted Dad and Mom, three Sponsors, numerous Adopted Brothers and Sisters, HUNDREDS of people through books and in-person), and HIS Creation to enCOURAGE, correct, protect, comfort, direct, exhort, and strengthen me since 1 SEP 1995.

Because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, I now live as a FREED woman who understands that PAPA is The Only One Who can give me my TRUE IDENTITY and PURPOSE. He Transformed me – spirit, soul, and body – and has Taught me how to live life in healthy, non-dissociative ways. HOLY SPIRIT literally mended my shattered heart back together and I no longer have homosexual feelings, nor do I have the shame, rage, or self-loathing that were my constant tormentors for decades. I now FEEL emotions like KING YESHUA Created me to feel and because of His Faithfulness, I know how to manage my emotions, too!

Since PAPA has Taught me what to do when I’m anxious, I no longer use pornography, masturbation, or sexual fantasies. Before recovery, I only had WALLS and no boundaries. I was walled-off from PAPA, myself, and others. Not any more! KING JESUS and I together tore down the isolating walls (HalleluYAH!!!), and He Taught me what healthy boundaries are and how to enforce them in loving, respectful ways. (Actually, I’m still learning!!) I’m also learning how to **not** talk out of fear or be silent out of fear.

The life I now live is truly The Abundant Life KING YESHUA Promises in John 10:10 – all because He Patiently waits for me to daily surrender to His Authority in every area of my life. He still asks me the same thing He asked me in 1995, “Are you willing to Trust Me – just for today – no matter what it costs?”

+
\o/

Categories: Abuse and Neglect, Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, Family / Friends / Animals, Fruits of Repentance, Growing Up, HIS Great Love!, KING JESUS!, Sin, Testimonies | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Gift of Biblical Repentance

Dear Readers,

I’ve wondered for a LONG time how to Biblically describe what was going on years ago when I was promoting my old way of living (i.e., being a Christian, but living in relational and sexual sin AND saying that my behaviors/thoughts were **not** sin AND teaching others to do the same).

I believe PAPA has given me a visual. Here it is. I pray you are enCOURAGED to seek HIM in every area of your life — no matter the costs!

And — thank You, PAPA, for never giving up on me!!!
——-

Okay, so I was living in relational and sexual sin, which means, according to The Scriptures, I was living like a sinner, right?

Yet, in The Scriptures, the sinners (in general), flocked to KING JESUS, didn’t they? And then those sinners repented, right? And were thankful to PAPA and followed their Saviour, right?

Well, those three sentences are a description (albeit, short), of what KING YESHUA preached when He first started His public ministry (see Mark 1:14-17):

1. The time is fulfilled. The Kingdom of GOD is at hand.
(Now is the time. Here I Am — I’m standing right here in front of you);

2. Repent.
(Turn away from your sin — turn away from your finite way of thinking and living);

3. Believe in The Gospel.
(I Am The Gospel — I Am The Good News — Believe Me. Believe Who I say I Am; Believe who I say you are; Believe who I say we are together);

4. Follow Me.
(Go where I go and do what I do and obey My Command to love as I Love. Do not stray away, but when you do, refer back to points 1-3);

5. I will make you become Fishers of Men.
(I will empower you to live in The Strength of My Great Love. I will empower you to love other people as I Love them: in The Fullness of My Strong Holiness, Tender Mercy, and Powerfully Intimate Grace).

Continuing with the visual…

Most of the Pharisees (who are described during KING YESHUA’S day), viewed themselves as being “well” — not needing a doctor, much less a Saviour. They thought this way, because their perception was they were doing just fine by adhering to their standards of holiness, rather than KING YESHUA’S Standards of Holiness.

That is totally contrary to the repentant sinners’ perceptions — they knew they were sick and in need of a doctor and especially a Saviour! They knew they desperately needed help, so they surrendered to The One Who could actually Help them!

KING YESHUA referred to this scenario in Matthew 9:12-13 (NKJV) when He said,

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

So, here’s what I finally saw on THU 23 JAN 2013:

From the spring of 1989 through the fall of 1995, I was living as an UNrepentant homosexual Christian. I called my lesbian way of living “good and blessed by GOD,” and I strongly advocated for others to do the same.

I was living like a Pharisee (i.e., I believed that I was **not** “sick,” even though KING JESUS said I was sinning). I literally told GOD that I wasn’t sinning, so I didn’t need to repent.

Let me say that again — I told GOD, “I don’t need to repent.”

Oh, my . . .

Hmmm…from a physical standpoint, that can be simply described as a terribly sick woman who continually refuses to acknowledge her illness — even when the medical specialist stands right in front of her and tells her the truth about her condition, she rejects him. To make matters worse, she convinces other people to follow her example of rejecting truth about sickness which leads to a downward spiral of unhealthy existence (rather than life and life more abundantly — John 10:10).

From a spiritual viewpoint, I was someone who repeatedly refused to bow down to The One Who Created me — AND — I encouraged others to rebel with me by rejecting parts of GOD’S Word. AND — I called it “good and blessed by GOD.” The Scriptures have numerous warnings about doing such things. This verse from Isaiah 5:20 (NKJV) is particularly strong, “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”

To knowingly reject GOD and His Word regarding KING YESHUA will ultimately lead to eternal death and separation from The Creator — that is an absolute.

Yet, if you are someone who claims to be a Christian and is living as I once was — and calling it good — please hear my heart. I’m asking you to do a different kind of Woe. I’m asking you to say, “Whoa!” as in, “stop-in-your-tracks” kind of whoa.

Also, please remember this Truth: KING JESUS Loves you! And He Loves you SO much that He doesn’t want you to stay that way — living in sin. And calling sin good. And teaching others to do the same.

Here’s The Truth: The most beautiful angel was thrown out of Heaven for doing something similar. And he took one-third of the angels with him. That’s not said as a scare tactic. That is said as a sobering reminder that PAPA Is Holy.

Is that you, today? Are you afraid to bow down to The One Who Created you? If that is you, please hear this: HE STILL LOVES YOU! Yes, He does!

The question is: Do you want to do something different? Or — are you at least willing to do something different?

If, yes, then open your Bible to Mark 1:14-17, and read aloud what KING YESHUA’S Word says.

Then follow what He says in those four verses (they’re also written above) and TELL A FRIEND (or two or three) who are walking the road of repentance, as well!

Then, continue living in The Light that the gift of Biblical repentance is and PAPA will give you not only a new heart and a new way of living, He will also give you a new job description: Fisher of Men!

PAPA’S Blessing on all of you Precious Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
\/ 🙂

Categories: Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, Fruits of Repentance, KING JESUS!, Matters of FAITH: Eternal Life or Eternal Death, Sin | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Strength, Mercy, and Plank-Pulling

Hey there, Readers!

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but I’ve REPENTED (yay!), so here is the latest–thanks for reading and for your prayers!

I’m re-reading Dan Allender’s book, Bold Love, and it’s reminding me of how much I’ve forgotten. Below is both a concept from Dan’s book and the Scripture related to it. (The following concept may seem totally UNbiblical, at first, but stay with me through the Scripture and post.)

Alright, here we go . . .

The concept is that GOD hates sin (y’all knew that one)–AND–He hates the sinner. (I know–that sounds totally contrary to what you’ve probably heard, but hang in there.)

— Proverbs 3:31-32 (AMP)

“Do not resentfully envy and be jealous of an unscrupulous, grasping man, and choose none of his ways. [Ps. 37:1; 73:3; Prov. 24:1.] For the perverse [man is] an abomination [extremely disgusting and detestable] to the Lord; but His confidential communion and secret counsel are with the [uncompromisingly] righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with Him). [Ps. 25:14.] (Proverbs 3:31, 32 AMP).”

______________

Does this really mean that PAPA hates sinners? That people who practice perversity can be an abomination to Him? Well, according to Scripture, GOD hates people who sin (that’s all of us).

BUT THERE’S GREAT NEWS!!! GOD LOVES ALL PEOPLE!!! (We are created in His Image, ya know.)

PAPA Loves all people so much that He sent His Son, KING YESHUA, to literally bear His Wrath (that’s STRENGTH). And–PAPA hates people who are dominated by sin, so He sent His Beloved Son to DIE IN OUR PLACE (that’s MERCY).

In other words–PAPA’S Great Love is ALWAYS demonstrated by BOTH His Strength and Mercy. That’s His BOLD Love!
:-)

This is what I’m wanting to communicate–as Allender notes, it’s not “sin” that goes to Hell, it is unrepentant PEOPLE.

UNrepentant people go to Hell.

Literally.

People who reject JESUS’ Lordship in their lives go to Hell. People who reject Who KING YESHUA says He Is, go to Hell.

And if a person rejects who He says they are to be, then, according to Proverbs 3:32, that person will NOT be in Communion with GOD nor be in His Counsel. That sure gets my attention!

He says He is to be my LORD, KING, MASTER, SAVIOUR, FATHER, and BEST FRIEND–just to name a few. He says I’m to be HIS Beloved Daughter. He says I am to accept His Cleansing Correction, His Divine Disciplining, and His Absolute Adoration of me–all because He’s my DAD. I’m NOT to be a perverse person. I’m NOT to be one who rejects Him and His Ways.

I’ve been asking PAPA to infuse those realizations DEEP into my innermost being. Really DEEP!

Are you willing to risk letting those realizations sink deep into your being as you read and re-read that PAPA hates perverse people, yet He will share His Counsel with upright people?

I want KING JESUS to Share His Counsel with me! Yes, I do!!!
:-)

So, although I’ve repented from my OLD way of living and have been RE-BORN (thank You, PAPA!), I MUST (still) FIRST remove the PLANK (daily) from my own eye BEFORE I go near another person to help them with the SPECK in their eye! (I know y’all were wondering what any of this had to do with plank-pulling! It’s about dealing with MY sin, FIRST, before helping anyone else see their sin.)

PAPA wants me to live as HE says–not as my OLD way (my sin nature) demands–as it even wars to have dominion over me.

PRAYER:

KING JESUS, I desperately need You!!! I need to totally depend on You–no matter what it costs me–because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!!! And so am I!!! And so are all the people You bring me in contact with!!! Thank You for Your Loving Strength that makes it possible for me to see my planks (my sins) as You See them. And thank You for Your Loving Mercy as You PATIENTLY help me remove the planks so that I am NOT dominated by them!
:-)

So, Dear Readers, I pray you will join me in a life of “plank-pulling” in order to live an upright life where PAPA Graces you with His Intimate Communion and Counsel—and—so you can help others with their specks!

Much Love in HIS Great Love!

Plank-Pulling Warrior Princess Melanee!
\/ :-)

Categories: Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, Fruits of Repentance, KING JESUS!, Matters of FAITH: Eternal Life or Eternal Death, Sin | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

DEC 1985 – SEP 1995 (the short version)

Dear Readers,

Below is a small portion of KING YESHUA’S Story in my life. It’s short, but it’s about The One Who IS GOOD!!! 🙂

_________________________

On MON 23 DEC 1985 around 1000 (10:00 am) I became a born-again Christian. My life was NEW!!! And CLEAN!!! And AWESOME!!! Woohoo!!! 🙂

What I didn’t know was, that in order for my emotional, romantic, sexual feelings to be transformed, I would need to practice being rigorously honest with GOD, myself, and others I trusted. My perception at that time was: If I just give my homosexual feelings to GOD, then He would change them into romantic and sexual feelings for men. Kinda like, “Poof!”

That didn’t work.

In FEB 1988, I started a romantic and sexual relationship with another woman who was struggling against homosexuality. Neither of us were very strong (obviously), and in October of that year I experienced my first suicidal feelings.

In the spring of 1989, I returned to living as a homosexual. Why? Because I could not escape my romantic and sexual feelings for other women — I couldn’t make them go away. And since they hadn’t changed (regardless of how many times I begged GOD to take them away), I decided that He must not want to change them, either. I told JESUS that I could no longer deny He was GOD — but I also told Him that I could no longer deny I was a lesbian.

So, off I went to live my new life as a lesbian Christian in Gainesville, FL. Sure, I had questions like, “Are homosexual thoughts and activity sin?” But mainly I was determined to not feel ashamed of my homosexual feelings. And, I really DID want others to know JESUS and give their life to Him. Really.

In OCT 1990, I and the woman I thought would be my forever life-partner, had a ceremony at the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) in Gainesville. Both of our gay-identified brothers were present and signed the document as our witnesses.

On 11 NOV 1991, my brother passed away due to AIDS. In 1992, my life-partner and I moved to Tallahassee and in the fall of 1993, we started the MCC in the capital city of FL. Everything seemed great. I was kind of like the “temporary pastor” of the church — not preaching, but the out-front leader who taught that GOD blessed committed, monogamous homosexuality.

There was a big problem I kept running into, though — I didn’t know how to talk to folks about their sin problems. You see, since I was teaching that homosexuality was *not* sin, then how could I claim that GOD’S Word called their behaviors sinful? How could I say to them that there was hope for them to repent of  their sins?

I could not.

Not lying. Not stealing. Not gossiping. Not adultery. Not fornication. Not even pedophilia. “Who was I to judge?” That’s what I kept hearing in my head. So, suffice it to say, I didn’t have much “power” in my life and I felt hopeless to do anything about it.

Even in the midst of my hopeless powerlessness, though, I met some phenomenal folks through MCC, but they were not the answer to my sin problem. My rebellion could not be “fixed” by any human. Well, not any natural human, anyway. 😉

It took only a few years before I couldn’t take the depression any longer. (For those of you who haven’t experienced it, it is extremely tormenting to say there is freedom in CHRIST to change, while simultaneously refusing to surrender to Him and His Power in every area of one’s own life. That’s called “making two choices.” I blogged about that earlier.)

Back to the story . . .

I didn’t want to live with this torment any more, but I didn’t know how I could kill myself.

But, GOD . . .

Only because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, demonstrated through His Word and a few key folks, did my life begin to have hope. TRUE Hope. Hope for freedom from the tormenting lies I believed about both GOD and myself.

Mainly, though, my prayer was a simple, desperate cry to JESUS — “GOD! I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be!”

So, on 1 SEP 1995, I started “recovery” regarding feelings — all feelings. The first thing my therapist did was send me to PAPA’S Word to find out what He Says about Himself, what He Says about me, and what He Says about me and Him — together.

This time, though, I wasn’t doing it all alone. This time I had both spiritual and physical support through some of KING YESHUA’S people who had a clue how to love me with 100% Strength and 100% Mercy — His Great Love! HalleluYAH! 🙂 Thank You, KING YESHUA!!! 🙂

____________________________________________

That, Precious Readers, is the SHORT version of life for me from 23 DEC 1985 – 1 SEP 1995!

Thanks for reading and PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
\/ 🙂

Categories: Abuse and Neglect, Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, Family / Friends / Animals, Fruits of Repentance, Growing Up, KING JESUS!, Matters of FAITH: Eternal Life or Eternal Death, Sin | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Sorrow Unto LIFE! (versus sorrow unto death)

Dear Readers,

Thanks for joining me today! How are you? I pray you are GROWING in your intimacy with KING YESHUA through talking/listening to Him, studying His HOLY SPIRIT’S Word, obeying Him, and resting in GOD’S Presence!

Speaking of GOD’S Presence, this post is about what PAPA Taught me on TUE 1 OCT 2013 (and is continuing to Teach me) about honoring and respecting others. A painful (and not pretty) lesson, but an extremely necessary one. Read on, you’ll see!
____________

I blew it relationally with my Adopted Mom last night – ugh!

Thankfully, she expressed her feelings before we parted company, and I apologized and asked for her forgiveness.

But PAPA knew I needed to recognize some SERIOUSLY harmful behavior patterns (in recovery language it’s called, “character defects”). He also wanted me to be willing to make some changes; hence, this post.

What did I do wrong? I made two choices — simultaneously. I texted Mom that I would see her soon to pick-up a VERY special package (my new inductive study Bible!) – woohoo!!! 🙂

That was one choice.

The second choice I made was to stop and talk with a friend — even though I KNEW I was committed to be elsewhere by a certain time.

After I chose the delay over honoring my Mom, I whined to her on the phone about how important that package was (I told you this wasn’t pretty!). So even though she was completely exhausted and needed to go home immediately, I whined some more. (I’m calling it whining, because whining is NOT honorable or respectful.) More attempting to convince Mom through whining.

Mom relented.

I cried, but only because I felt bad about my Mom being so tired. That’s called sorrow unto death — or ungodly sorrow (a.k.a., being sorry I “got caught”).

When we met so she could give me the package, I was still convinced in my self-centered thinking, that if I could just show Mom how SPECIAL the Bible was to me, then surely she wouldn’t be upset with me any more.

Not! (And rightfully so!)

I had dishonored and disrespected my Mom’s time and energy by making a second choice (talking with a friend) — AND — I didn’t want to accept the consequences (not having the package that night).

So although I apologized and asked for forgiveness, it wasn’t until after Mom left (with no rejoicing about my special Bible), that I sat in my car and bawled my eyes out. But this time I cried because I was beginning to “get it.” I had harmed my Mom, which also meant I had harmed our relationship. I was beginning to experience sorrow unto LIFE — HalleluYAH!!!
🙂

That’s when PAPA reminded me of what my first recovery therapist taught me about two choices. How it’s INSANE to make two choices and, in order to be SANE, I would need to choose One Thing. Make One Choice.

PAPA continued by Telling me, “Melanee – you were being immature, selfish, and self-centered when you made two choices. Especially when you didn’t want to accept and own the consequences of your actions.”

So.I.Repented. And PAPA Forgave me. That’s how GOOD HE IS! 🙂

So, this blog is the first fruits of repentance. Owning my stuff in a public forum so that my harmful behavior patterns are no longer a secret. Instead, my “two choices” and “refusing to own my responsibility” are out in KING YESHUA’S Light where transformation occurs! HalleluYAH!!!!!!!
🙂

Thanks for listening, Precious Readers, and PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
(who is learning to make ONE CHOICE and stick to it!)
\/ 🙂

Categories: Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, Family / Friends / Animals, Fruits of Repentance, Growing Up, KING JESUS!, Matters of FAITH: Eternal Life or Eternal Death, Sin | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How Did KING YESHUA Live On This Earth?

Dear Readers,

Here is a question I’ve been pondering on for months:

“How do I, as a Daughter of The Great High KING YESHUA, demonstrate His Great Love to ALL of my neighbors as I go through my day-to-day living?”

Well, as you can probably guess, I decided to study PAPA’S Word to see how KING YESHUA demonstrated His Great Love to others as He went about His daily life.

First, though, before I begin asking my study questions, let me define PAPA’S Great Love as 100% Strength AND 100% Mercy—simultaneously. (That definition comes from Dan Allender’s study of The Scriptures, especially The Psalms.)

For the record, let me state that KING YESHUA always demonstrated (verbally, physically, and attitudinally) His Great Love to EVERYONE He came in contact with. Everyone. That includes the Pharisees and Sadducees, the liars, lepers, adulterers, gossipers, fornicators, swindlers, and back-biters. It includes the people who were mean-spirited, apathetic, hard-hearted, and rebellious as well as those coveting other people’s belongings, looks, status, power, and money. He Loved the folks who were living as homosexuals, bi-sexuals, cross-dressers, pedophiles, prostitutes, pimps, witches, thieves, and drunkards, along with the people who were sexually/physically/emotionally abusing and neglecting children. He demonstrated His Great Love to people who called evil, good and good, evil.

The “loudest” demonstration of His Great Love (prior to The Cross) was in The Temple in Jerusalem. He Loved the money changers who were being stumbling blocks to the Jews who wanted to enter The Temple. THAT was a POWERFUL demonstration of His Great Love! Woohoo!!! 🙂

So, do you currently fit into any of those categories or have you in the past? I have. And I can still be hard-hearted and rebellious, just to name two. And boy-howdee, my rebelliousness shows up in U.G.L.Y. ways. (As if rebelliousness is ever “pretty”?)

Yet, KING YESHUA still LOVES you and me! 🙂

He does NOT like or love sin. Not yours, mine, or anyone else’s.

So . . . how does KING YESHUA demonstrate His Great Love towards people WITHOUT loving their sin? How did He minister to and serve others, regardless of the way they lived? Let’s see what His Word says . . .

My Q&A Study Subject: Does GOD Bless Sin or People or Both?

According to PAPA’S Word . . .

1. Are there any examples of KING YESHUA Blessing sin? (No. Absolutely not.)

2. Are there any examples of Him using His Carpentry, His Words, His Actions to Bless others’ sin? (No. No. And no.)

3. Does Scripture record KING YESHUA attending any ceremony that was celebrating sin? (No.)

4. Does Scripture record Him interacting with sinners, tax-collectors, and hard-hearted Pharisees and Sadducees? (Yes! Yes! And yes!)

5. Did KING YESHUA go into the homes of unrepentant sinners, and eat meals with pride-filled people? (Yes, absolutely!)

6. Did He speak Lovingly (based on the 100% Strength and 100% Mercy definition) to the pride-filled and hard-hearted people? (Yes!)

7. Did KING YESHUA attend a wedding between a Jewish man and woman? (Yes.)

8. Did He bless the husband and wife with a (supernatural) physical gift of the best wine? (Yes.)

Okay, so what are those eight questions about? And — so what?

First, the questions above are just “samples” to get you started in asking your own SPECIFIC study questions on KING YESHUA’S earthly life. There are thousands more subjects to study and questions to ask, so ask away!

Second, the answer to the “so what?” question is . . . because. Because I want to live my life more and more like KING YESHUA did, I need to know what He did and didn’t do while on this earth. Or more accurately stated, I need to know what Scripture actually records Him doing and saying.

Additionally, in order to APPLY His Word more fully in every area of my life, I need to study His Word to see “How?” He did what He did and said what He said.

HOW did KING YESHUA interact with others while He was physically present in their midst on a day-to-day basis? (FYI: I’m not referring to The Cross — that’s THE ULTIMATE expression of His Great Love!)

How did He DEMONSTRATE His Great Love for each one of them individually when He was Face-to-face with them?

How did He verbally, physically, and attitudinally communicate His Amazing Love (100% Strength-100% Mercy) to others, whether He was alone with them or in a group setting?

How did He implement boundaries (an expression of Love) so that He “stayed the course” of doing His FATHER’S Will?

How?

Well, let’s find out what KING YESHUA says in His Word. (BTW, it’s His HOLY SPIRIT’S Word and His HOLY SPIRIT’S Presence inside of me that keeps me on the straight and narrow path of following in PAPA’S Footsteps. Otherwise, I lean on my own limited understanding and we all know that’s NOT good!)

Here’s a framework question that helps me: “What examples are there in Scripture of _________________ [fill-in the blank]?”

For this blog, the question is: “What examples are there in Scripture of KING YESHUA demonstrating His Great Love to people — and — how is His 100% Strength AND 100% Mercy expressed in those examples?”

Now, dear Readers, this is where YOU come in! If you’re willing, cite the Bible (book, chapter, and verses) that answer both parts of that question!

(As I already mentioned, His GREATEST demonstration is The Cross (that’s obvious!) — so you’ll have to choose other examples!)  😉

I’m looking forward to your replies!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
\/ 🙂

Categories: Bible / Scripture / Torah / Truth / PAPA'S Written Word, KING JESUS!, Matters of FAITH: Eternal Life or Eternal Death, Sin | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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