Tag: Fruit

Strength, Mercy, and Plank-Pulling

Hey there, Readers!

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but I’ve REPENTED (yay!), so here is the latest–thanks for reading and for your prayers!

I’m re-reading Dan Allender’s book, Bold Love, and it’s reminding me of how much I’ve forgotten. Below is both a concept from Dan’s book and the Scripture related to it. (The following concept may seem totally UNbiblical, at first, but stay with me through the Scripture and post.)

Alright, here we go . . .

The concept is that GOD hates sin (y’all knew that one)–AND–He hates the sinner. (I know–that sounds totally contrary to what you’ve probably heard, but hang in there.)

— Proverbs 3:31-32 (AMP)

“Do not resentfully envy and be jealous of an unscrupulous, grasping man, and choose none of his ways. [Ps. 37:1; 73:3; Prov. 24:1.] For the perverse [man is] an abomination [extremely disgusting and detestable] to the Lord; but His confidential communion and secret counsel are with the [uncompromisingly] righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with Him). [Ps. 25:14.] (Proverbs 3:31, 32 AMP).”

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Does this really mean that PAPA hates sinners? That people who practice perversity can be an abomination to Him? Well, according to Scripture, GOD hates people who sin (that’s all of us).

BUT THERE’S GREAT NEWS!!! GOD LOVES ALL PEOPLE!!! (We are created in His Image, ya know.)

PAPA Loves all people so much that He sent His Son, KING YESHUA, to literally bear His Wrath (that’s STRENGTH). And–PAPA hates people who are dominated by sin, so He sent His Beloved Son to DIE IN OUR PLACE (that’s MERCY).

In other words–PAPA’S Great Love is ALWAYS demonstrated by BOTH His Strength and Mercy. That’s His BOLD Love!
:-)

This is what I’m wanting to communicate–as Allender notes, it’s not “sin” that goes to Hell, it is unrepentant PEOPLE.

UNrepentant people go to Hell.

Literally.

People who reject JESUS’ Lordship in their lives go to Hell. People who reject Who KING YESHUA says He Is, go to Hell.

And if a person rejects who He says they are to be, then, according to Proverbs 3:32, that person will NOT be in Communion with GOD nor be in His Counsel. That sure gets my attention!

He says He is to be my LORD, KING, MASTER, SAVIOUR, FATHER, and BEST FRIEND–just to name a few. He says I’m to be HIS Beloved Daughter. He says I am to accept His Cleansing Correction, His Divine Disciplining, and His Absolute Adoration of me–all because He’s my DAD. I’m NOT to be a perverse person. I’m NOT to be one who rejects Him and His Ways.

I’ve been asking PAPA to infuse those realizations DEEP into my innermost being. Really DEEP!

Are you willing to risk letting those realizations sink deep into your being as you read and re-read that PAPA hates perverse people, yet He will share His Counsel with upright people?

I want KING JESUS to Share His Counsel with me! Yes, I do!!!
:-)

So, although I’ve repented from my OLD way of living and have been RE-BORN (thank You, PAPA!), I MUST (still) FIRST remove the PLANK (daily) from my own eye BEFORE I go near another person to help them with the SPECK in their eye! (I know y’all were wondering what any of this had to do with plank-pulling! It’s about dealing with MY sin, FIRST, before helping anyone else see their sin.)

PAPA wants me to live as HE says–not as my OLD way (my sin nature) demands–as it even wars to have dominion over me.

PRAYER:

KING JESUS, I desperately need You!!! I need to totally depend on You–no matter what it costs me–because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!!! And so am I!!! And so are all the people You bring me in contact with!!! Thank You for Your Loving Strength that makes it possible for me to see my planks (my sins) as You See them. And thank You for Your Loving Mercy as You PATIENTLY help me remove the planks so that I am NOT dominated by them!
:-)

So, Dear Readers, I pray you will join me in a life of “plank-pulling” in order to live an upright life where PAPA Graces you with His Intimate Communion and Counsel—and—so you can help others with their specks!

Much Love in HIS Great Love!

Plank-Pulling Warrior Princess Melanee!
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DEC 1985 – SEP 1995 (the short version)

Dear Readers,

Below is a small portion of KING YESHUA’S Story in my life. It’s short, but it’s about The One Who IS GOOD!!! 🙂

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On MON 23 DEC 1985 around 1000 (10:00 am) I became a born-again Christian. My life was NEW!!! And CLEAN!!! And AWESOME!!! Woohoo!!! 🙂

What I didn’t know was, that in order for my emotional, romantic, sexual feelings to be transformed, I would need to practice being rigorously honest with GOD, myself, and others I trusted. My perception at that time was: If I just give my homosexual feelings to GOD, then He would change them into romantic and sexual feelings for men. Kinda like, “Poof!”

That didn’t work.

In FEB 1988, I started a romantic and sexual relationship with another woman who was struggling against homosexuality. Neither of us were very strong (obviously), and in October of that year I experienced my first suicidal feelings.

In the spring of 1989, I returned to living as a homosexual. Why? Because I could not escape my romantic and sexual feelings for other women — I couldn’t make them go away. And since they hadn’t changed (regardless of how many times I begged GOD to take them away), I decided that He must not want to change them, either. I told JESUS that I could no longer deny He was GOD — but I also told Him that I could no longer deny I was a lesbian.

So, off I went to live my new life as a lesbian Christian in Gainesville, FL. Sure, I had questions like, “Are homosexual thoughts and activity sin?” But mainly I was determined to not feel ashamed of my homosexual feelings. And, I really DID want others to know JESUS and give their life to Him. Really.

In OCT 1990, I and the woman I thought would be my forever life-partner, had a ceremony at the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) in Gainesville. Both of our gay-identified brothers were present and signed the document as our witnesses.

On 11 NOV 1991, my brother passed away due to AIDS. In 1992, my life-partner and I moved to Tallahassee and in the fall of 1993, we started the MCC in the capital city of FL. Everything seemed great. I was kind of like the “temporary pastor” of the church — not preaching, but the out-front leader who taught that GOD blessed committed, monogamous homosexuality.

There was a big problem I kept running into, though — I didn’t know how to talk to folks about their sin problems. You see, since I was teaching that homosexuality was *not* sin, then how could I claim that GOD’S Word called their behaviors sinful? How could I say to them that there was hope for them to repent of  their sins?

I could not.

Not lying. Not stealing. Not gossiping. Not adultery. Not fornication. Not even pedophilia. “Who was I to judge?” That’s what I kept hearing in my head. So, suffice it to say, I didn’t have much “power” in my life and I felt hopeless to do anything about it.

Even in the midst of my hopeless powerlessness, though, I met some phenomenal folks through MCC, but they were not the answer to my sin problem. My rebellion could not be “fixed” by any human. Well, not any natural human, anyway. 😉

It took only a few years before I couldn’t take the depression any longer. (For those of you who haven’t experienced it, it is extremely tormenting to say there is freedom in CHRIST to change, while simultaneously refusing to surrender to Him and His Power in every area of one’s own life. That’s called “making two choices.” I blogged about that earlier.)

Back to the story . . .

I didn’t want to live with this torment any more, but I didn’t know how I could kill myself.

But, GOD . . .

Only because of KING YESHUA’S Great Love, demonstrated through His Word and a few key folks, did my life begin to have hope. TRUE Hope. Hope for freedom from the tormenting lies I believed about both GOD and myself.

Mainly, though, my prayer was a simple, desperate cry to JESUS — “GOD! I just want to be the woman YOU Created me to be!”

So, on 1 SEP 1995, I started “recovery” regarding feelings — all feelings. The first thing my therapist did was send me to PAPA’S Word to find out what He Says about Himself, what He Says about me, and what He Says about me and Him — together.

This time, though, I wasn’t doing it all alone. This time I had both spiritual and physical support through some of KING YESHUA’S people who had a clue how to love me with 100% Strength and 100% Mercy — His Great Love! HalleluYAH! 🙂 Thank You, KING YESHUA!!! 🙂

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That, Precious Readers, is the SHORT version of life for me from 23 DEC 1985 – 1 SEP 1995!

Thanks for reading and PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours!!!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa
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Sorrow Unto LIFE! (versus sorrow unto death)

Dear Readers,

Thanks for joining me today! How are you? I pray you are GROWING in your intimacy with KING YESHUA through talking/listening to Him, studying His HOLY SPIRIT’S Word, obeying Him, and resting in GOD’S Presence!

Speaking of GOD’S Presence, this post is about what PAPA Taught me on TUE 1 OCT 2013 (and is continuing to Teach me) about honoring and respecting others. A painful (and not pretty) lesson, but an extremely necessary one. Read on, you’ll see!
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I blew it relationally with my Adopted Mom last night – ugh!

Thankfully, she expressed her feelings before we parted company, and I apologized and asked for her forgiveness.

But PAPA knew I needed to recognize some SERIOUSLY harmful behavior patterns (in recovery language it’s called, “character defects”). He also wanted me to be willing to make some changes; hence, this post.

What did I do wrong? I made two choices — simultaneously. I texted Mom that I would see her soon to pick-up a VERY special package (my new inductive study Bible!) – woohoo!!! 🙂

That was one choice.

The second choice I made was to stop and talk with a friend — even though I KNEW I was committed to be elsewhere by a certain time.

After I chose the delay over honoring my Mom, I whined to her on the phone about how important that package was (I told you this wasn’t pretty!). So even though she was completely exhausted and needed to go home immediately, I whined some more. (I’m calling it whining, because whining is NOT honorable or respectful.) More attempting to convince Mom through whining.

Mom relented.

I cried, but only because I felt bad about my Mom being so tired. That’s called sorrow unto death — or ungodly sorrow (a.k.a., being sorry I “got caught”).

When we met so she could give me the package, I was still convinced in my self-centered thinking, that if I could just show Mom how SPECIAL the Bible was to me, then surely she wouldn’t be upset with me any more.

Not! (And rightfully so!)

I had dishonored and disrespected my Mom’s time and energy by making a second choice (talking with a friend) — AND — I didn’t want to accept the consequences (not having the package that night).

So although I apologized and asked for forgiveness, it wasn’t until after Mom left (with no rejoicing about my special Bible), that I sat in my car and bawled my eyes out. But this time I cried because I was beginning to “get it.” I had harmed my Mom, which also meant I had harmed our relationship. I was beginning to experience sorrow unto LIFE — HalleluYAH!!!
🙂

That’s when PAPA reminded me of what my first recovery therapist taught me about two choices. How it’s INSANE to make two choices and, in order to be SANE, I would need to choose One Thing. Make One Choice.

PAPA continued by Telling me, “Melanee – you were being immature, selfish, and self-centered when you made two choices. Especially when you didn’t want to accept and own the consequences of your actions.”

So.I.Repented. And PAPA Forgave me. That’s how GOOD HE IS! 🙂

So, this blog is the first fruits of repentance. Owning my stuff in a public forum so that my harmful behavior patterns are no longer a secret. Instead, my “two choices” and “refusing to own my responsibility” are out in KING YESHUA’S Light where transformation occurs! HalleluYAH!!!!!!!
🙂

Thanks for listening, Precious Readers, and PAPA’S Blessings on you and all of yours!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
(who is learning to make ONE CHOICE and stick to it!)
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I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y.

Dear Readers,

My Home Church (Calvary Chapel Tallahassee) has just started a class called: “Self-Confrontation: A Manual for In-Depth Biblical Discipleship.”
[sub subtitle] – “Based on [The Bible] as the only authoritative rule of faith and conduct.”

I mention this class because it’s ALL about I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y. — truly!

The book is *not* about beating people up emotionally or spiritually (that would be abusive). It’s *not* lax in calling sin what it is — wrong and destructive, nor is it lax in saying WHO my IDENTITY is to be based on — (that would be neglectful to not state Truth clearly).

I say all of that because if I base my IDENTITY on anything (or anyone) other than CHRIST JESUS, then I have a problem that needs correcting (just like being abusive and/or neglectful). But no worries, because KING YESHUA’S Word is ALL about lovingly, firmly, clearly, consistently, and mercifully transforming me more and more into Himself!

The Scriptures repeat this same thing over and over again. (See the post script for a little more on this.)

If I were to say, do, or write anything contrary to what PAPA’S Word says, I sure hope my Brothers and Sisters would *love me enough* to share with me what His Word says. And to walk alongside of me as I adjust to the growing pains, to help lift me up when it gets REALLY painful, as well as to rejoice with me when victories are made! Especially when it comes to my IDENTITY. (Yes, I know — I’m capitalizing that word repeatedly. It’s because it’s one of the main FOUNDATIONAL parts of being born-again.)

And, while I’m thinking about it — it doesn’t matter *who* I’m talking to (Christian or non-believer) — my I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y. remains the same. My focus is about WHO Saved me. That’s Who I focus my IDENTITY on. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Yet, there are times when I do focus elsewhere — this IS about rigorous honesty, yes? 🙂 — and when I do focus elsewhere, it’s not good. Not even close. And it sure doesn’t Glorify PAPA. No, it does not.

Here’s the REAL kicker! If I do *not* Glorify The One Who Created me (by what I say, do, write, etc.) — AND — I claim to follow Him, then I’m sending mixed messages to others. And that’s REALLY not good! (Short version: Mixed messages = destructive. Clear, Clean Boundaries = HEALTHY!)

One last thought — I just shared this in a prayer with a dear Warrior Princess Sister earlier: Because of The Scriptures, I know that I know that I know that PAPA has Clothed me in KING YESHUA’S Righteousness — I am Clothed in Him! I have been made *forever* C.L.E.A.N.!!! HalleluYAH!!! With that understanding of my IDENTITY, I want to walk, live, talk, think, behave, write, etc. more and more CLEAN (rather than more and more dirty). BUT – when I do get “muddy” from my sin (or other’s sin) on this earth, no worries! Because PAPA Washes me clean, again! Yahoo!!! 🙂

Well, thanks for letting me write (& write & write & write!) — these are some thoughts I’ve been wanting to share for years.

I pray you passionately pursue The One Who Died & Rose Again for you!!! And may you live out your I.D.E.N.T.I.T.Y. in HIM — nothing more and nothing less! Shalom, dear Readers!

In HIS Great Love!

Warrior Princess Melanee Lisa!
\/ 🙂

(P.S.  My acronym of the gist of what Scripture says I need in order for me to GROW and produce FRUIT is: R.O.P.E.!
Repent AND Obey AND Persevere. All three are required to produce GROWTH. But if I want FRUIT, then I will need to Endure testing, pain, and hardship! Then I will have MUCH good Fruit to share with others! In case you missed it – R.O.P.E.! = Repent, Obey, Persevere, Endure!)

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